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I think there is a problem today when people put their sexuality as a cornerstone of their personality. I think its an important aspect of who you are but far from most important. This over emphasis on self identification can create negative feelings about the self if one were to not conform to whats expected.

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Aren't you worried that your judgement of other people's personalities and what they think is important to them could be needlessly harmful?

Not to put too fine a point on it, but what gives you the right to tell other people what's important to them, given the vastly different set of life experiences everyone has?

Maybe if someone was throwing their life away to addiction, but an otherwise functioning and happy person doesn't seem like someone who wants to hear what you think of their life, and would seemingly prefer to just be called by the identifier they've chosen and then otherwise left alone by you.

Don't misunderstand. I have no problem using someone's preferred pronouns.

Gender and sexuality are orthogonal.

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