Do you think gender has a bearing on how one feels about oneself, and does one's self image have an impact on their performance?
Not to put too fine a point on it, but what gives you the right to tell other people what's important to them, given the vastly different set of life experiences everyone has?
Maybe if someone was throwing their life away to addiction, but an otherwise functioning and happy person doesn't seem like someone who wants to hear what you think of their life, and would seemingly prefer to just be called by the identifier they've chosen and then otherwise left alone by you.