It's not perfect, and you are right about the downsides. These resources that spammers have can be applied as easily to re/hcaptcha (either through ML or clickfarms). No CAPTCHA will actually lock out targeted attacks.
The difficulty increase per IP can be seen as a form of soft rate limiting, it's shared between all websites (which is where it's different from ordinary rate limiting). In the future we may use IP reputation lists to guide the initial difficulty too - but we haven't implemented that yet.
I think that no perfect captcha can exist, which is inherent to the problem. Proof of work makes different fradeoffs, and perhaps it is cheaper to attack still - I think it's a much more friendly solution for users though (accessibility, privacy, simplicity, fairness, UX).
Maybe in the future the solution would be something like this: a long PoW-based captcha that runs in the background as well as a vision task for the user, whichever gets solved first.