If you would personally not use a system like this and would prefer one that didn't rename things, even if they were missing the patches, I think that goes to show that the patches are not that valuable.
I'm not an open source developer, but it seems like a good solution is for the original publisher of the package to maintain their vision, take whatever feedback they deem useful, and ignore what they don't feel is useful. If RedHat or the other distributions want to keep maintaining their patches, let them; that's what they're being paid for. If it ends up fragmenting the Linux ecosystem, which IMO it does, then the distributions should do more introspection and cooperate more to reduce fragmentation.
While distributions give variety and diversity - sometimes a good thing - I would love it if Linus would get all distributions in a room and force them to agree on a whole set of issues to eliminate silly differences between distributions. And if they don't/won't agree, they don't get to use the Linux trademark.
It's human nature to think your way of doing things is best. But I'm not sure the multitude of idiosyncratic differences between distributions is really advantageous to users. It does lock users into a distribution, because as you said, who wants to go through all their scripts and rename every instance of ps to rh-ps, then go back and rename everything again when the patch is accepted.
I do think the idea of paying the original maintainers (from the company, not from you personally), has a lot of merit. After all, that's where the stuff was born; it's RedHat's "raw materials" supply.