I'm not talking about an intellectual understanding, I'm talking about emotional understanding. Sympathy is intellectual understanding (i.e., recognition), but is not emotional understanding.
Merriam-webster defines empathy(https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy):
> the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings,
Notice the 'and vicariously experiencing'. If there is no experience, it is not empathy. Stop using the word to mean something it is simply not.