1. No one solution will work for everyone, but it's always possible to find something that will help. CBT and its cousins work very well but aren't accessible to everyone (still waiting for a /good/ solution to that, HN) - in those cases I'd encourage people to try some of the distraction and visualization methods, and some of the exposure strategies, described in the comments. (I also like the lottery ticket strategy, it's a great reminder of the odds...)
2. After reading suggestions like these, and even books describing how to /do/ CBT with people afraid of flying, I wasn't better. I knew the right things to say to myself but didn't really believe them. I reluctantly did CBT, and to my great surprise it helped. My experience was that a CBT therapist was very much like a trainer at the gym: I know what to do at the gym, but having someone coach me through it made all the difference.
3. One cognitive strategy that has been helpful to me, in addition to many of the others already noted: force yourself to think, on any given day, about how many flights got where they were going, or at least got somewhere, safely. The answer is all of them. Yes, some were diverted, or returned to the airport - but they all landed. Now, remember that this happens every day - on days with huge storms in the midwest, tornadoes, snowstorms in New England, hail in Florida. For a visual illustration, check out a site like flightaware, and consider just how many commercial planes are in the air at any given time.