I'm sorry, genuine question, I'm still not seeing how that's a straw man. How is "Java is right here" an argument nobody is making? He's using it as an argument himself to question the value of working with a functional language, no?
When the author of the comment says "straw man, not my own view" in parentheses, he is saying "hey, this is what I imagine somebody who likes Java and not functional languages might think".