I don't mean to diminish your experience... but "pure unadulterated hell" is having a SO that loves you, a stable place to live, sleep, and eat, as well as a stable career?

If all of that is what "pure, unadulterated hell" looks like to you, I think your life really hasn't been as difficult and full of "hardships" as you would have people believe...

I think the thing that would help you most would be to stop feeling like a victim. That's what helped me! Best of luck to you.