Hacker News Reader

Comment by slurple | Hacker News Reader

The best way for men to counter this in a toxic environment is to call it out when they see it. This sends a message that being outwardly dehumanizing and dismissive is not okay, and is not the accepted norm.

View on HN

I'm quite shocked that nobody stepped in when Mike2 called her a "whiny little bitch" in a meeting. She said the other men "were shocked" spare a couple that giggled. What the fuck kind of person stands around and does nothing when witnessing that kind of abuse in a professional environment?

When you put a lot of your self-worth in your job and you know that the person you're about to call out can have you fired on the spot? So probably almost everyone. It's really hard to call out the boss, especially when you know that no one all the way up to the CEO has your back.

Not saying it's still not the right thing to do, just, you should put yourselves in their shoes. Probably that entire room could have told the guy in unison "that wasn't cool" and they would have all been instantly fired, so, not sure what that's gonna do for anyone...

I've stood up for someone in that kind of conversation. Our boss was yelling at a colleague in an inappropriate way. I interrupted to defend the guy. Our boss said, "If you don't feel like you need to be here, you should leave the room." I left the room. No adverse consequences to my job, as far as I can tell.

I suppose I could have stayed, but I also figured my colleague could stand up for himself. He's not a pushover.

Honestly, the type that is afraid to be fired and doesn't want to rock the boat. I'd like to believe I'd stand up and say that's wrong, but never having been in the situation, I don't know how I'd react. I'd probably start navel-gazing, too. :(

Presumably ones that are themselves being abused/in an abusive environment, as mentioned all over the article? Plus, of course, the ones perpetuating that culture, but I doubt those were the ones whose silence you were shocked by.

Yes! This! Same with dealing with racists, call it out when you see it. And stand up with those who are brave enough to act on it.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com