Hacker News Reader

Comment by sidlls | Hacker News Reader

Some of the responses to that article express a sentiment that women should fight back and not just silently take it.

I wonder (doubt) if they've ever been abused. It's hard for someone who has been abused to come forward, let alone stand up to an abuser.

Besides, men outnumber women in tech by a very large margin. It's on our shoulders to help women fight back. Strength in numbers is a thing, and having men who speak up on their own, and who support and reinforce women who come forward can only a be a good thing.

View on HN

She did fight back, told HR about what was happening, stood up to the abusers in meetings. Then when she was physically handled and verbally threatened in a meeting with many eye witnesses, nothing was done to support her or protect her.

What else do they expect her to do? Bring a weapon to work and shoot everyone?

I took their comments to mean directly to the abuser in a more aggressive way than "please stop" or even "that's not appropriate."

But you're right: in any adult, rational sense she "fought back."

Because everyone knows that being aggressive back to your abuser is an easy, viable option.

I don't think the comment you're pointing to is saying that she should have done more, but that others in the company should have; that to expect her to have done more is lacking in empathy for the difficulty of the situation she is in.

Umm.... so nevermind your hyperbole about bringing a gun... Maybe he was referring to the other female employees we've heard were too afraid to speak up? The ones mentioned say... here?

> Other female employees who were his seniors often discussed in private about his lewd comments and sexist behavior but no one was ever brave enough to complain to the senior management and HR because the management is known to ignore the complaints and many times punish the women by accidentally leaking the names of the women over private chat groups.

The best way for men to counter this in a toxic environment is to call it out when they see it. This sends a message that being outwardly dehumanizing and dismissive is not okay, and is not the accepted norm.

Yes! This! Same with dealing with racists, call it out when you see it. And stand up with those who are brave enough to act on it.

I'm quite shocked that nobody stepped in when Mike2 called her a "whiny little bitch" in a meeting. She said the other men "were shocked" spare a couple that giggled. What the fuck kind of person stands around and does nothing when witnessing that kind of abuse in a professional environment?

When you put a lot of your self-worth in your job and you know that the person you're about to call out can have you fired on the spot? So probably almost everyone. It's really hard to call out the boss, especially when you know that no one all the way up to the CEO has your back.

Not saying it's still not the right thing to do, just, you should put yourselves in their shoes. Probably that entire room could have told the guy in unison "that wasn't cool" and they would have all been instantly fired, so, not sure what that's gonna do for anyone...

I've stood up for someone in that kind of conversation. Our boss was yelling at a colleague in an inappropriate way. I interrupted to defend the guy. Our boss said, "If you don't feel like you need to be here, you should leave the room." I left the room. No adverse consequences to my job, as far as I can tell.

I suppose I could have stayed, but I also figured my colleague could stand up for himself. He's not a pushover.

Honestly, the type that is afraid to be fired and doesn't want to rock the boat. I'd like to believe I'd stand up and say that's wrong, but never having been in the situation, I don't know how I'd react. I'd probably start navel-gazing, too. :(

Presumably ones that are themselves being abused/in an abusive environment, as mentioned all over the article? Plus, of course, the ones perpetuating that culture, but I doubt those were the ones whose silence you were shocked by.

> It's easy to be practical about other people's problems.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com