How to be creepy:
1.) Be unattractive.
2.) Perform the same behaviors that attractive people do.
3.) Goto 1
1.) Be unattractive.
2.) Perform the same behaviors that attractive people do.
3.) Goto 1
People who are less attractive are possibly more likely to attempt to emulate those broad behaviours, but with much more invested in whether any interaction goes well. This comes out really obviously in body language and people don't like that - I owe you nothing, and you're acting like I do.
Attractive, in both sentences above, does not solely mean "physically attractive". Additionally, I don't participate in the hookup scene, and it's possibly very likely that physical attractiveness is much more necessary there than in dating.
It's more socially acceptable for unattractive yet wealthy/high-status people to perform such behaviors, as this can be explained by considering them "eccentric" or "confident" rather than "weird" or "creepy".
I can understand that some people may consider your parent's comment as looking for excuses/being overly snide/something or other, but it's certainly worth consideration, especially for me in that my anecdotal bayesian prior certainly echoes the sentiment of "appearance buys you breathing room". (As I got older and started caring about my appearance more, I observed my equally nerdy (behaviorally) friends get treated diametrically differently than I was when I KNEW we acted nearly identically after decades together)
Something categorised as one thing, but with traits of another, in this case "high-status"/"low-status" vs "human"/"non-human".
Problem is, while Human-like is a bit more universal, status is very subjective and cultural. Maybe it's better to focus on the feeling of creepiness, as a possible reflection of your/ones own cognitive dissonance, than the objective "creepiness" of an object.
Not to imply that people who are considered attractive can't be creepy -- but they do get more leeway.
It's unfair in the way that unattractiveness is always unfair--no matter what you do, you're judged by a much harsher standard than anyone else, and people desperately want to diminish that reality so they can continue to believe in just world fallacies and retain a sense of control about what happens to them. But in the end there's only two ways to respond: understandably bitter anger at the unfairness of the world, or getting over it. Neither will fix the world, but one will make you happy.
That isn't what people are talking about. Girls welcome being hit on by guys they find attractive. They hate it from guys they don't find attractive. It's not that the attractive person is doing something they'd be better off not doing but their attractiveness overcomes it, it's that the same behavior is good when an attractive person does it and bad when an unattractive person does it.
Just look at your sibling comment -- https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11706332
That attractive folks get mostly a free pass to circumvent that doesn't change the protocol.
It just seem like people are demanding a world where we'd all just screw whoever we bumped into, or nobody or... what, decide it by the roll of a 20 sided die?
That we have attractiveness might be seen as an interesting thing, like we have delicious foods and beautiful art. Of course, nobody wants to lose on any score, but people do like winning, and winning by its nature creates losers.
Have you seen the film "Nightcrawler"? It has an incredible scene where the protagonist manages to come off as creepy toward another man who's bigger and more confident than him, while asking him for a job. That scene made me realize that creepiness isn't always about attractiveness.
Scenario II: A male student with a stone face tells a female TA he wished she wasn't married. Then does his best to get assigned for her supervision to any lab work or assignment.
(I'm male and was witness to both)
Q1: do you find those behaviours creepy?
Q2: if so, would you think attractiveness makes any of that feel normal?
A2: No, attractiveness would not make either interaction feel normal. In the first scenario a complete stranger in a business interaction is hitting on someone. Not just light flirting but implicitly inviting the person over to their house. Creepy even if the creep is attractive. In the second scenario the student is exhibiting deviant behavior by making a sexual advance on a married person. After that he tries to maximize forced contact with the TA, again, creepy no matter what you look like.
Since you mentioned witnessing creepiness: When you watched these scenarios play out, did you get creeped out yourself? I ask because I'm a man and the most I've ever felt creeped out would be when I was witness to an interaction a classmate of mine, a woman, had. Vicarious discomfort, if you will.
The difference I think is I wasn't on the receiving side of it. If some stranger invited me to a bubble bath I'd probably be creeped out too.
1) Be short.
2) Perform the same behaviors as tall people.
3) Goto 1
....Do you see how this logic doesn't hold up to scrutiny?
In contrast, being perceived as creepy and unattractive is a great way to be socially isolated and depressed your whole life.
Ugly people are just ugly. They aren't inherently creepy. Lots of ugly people are very pleasant and nice to be around, you just wouldn't want to fuck them. And lots of attractive people are creepy as hell.