So nowhere. It's on the public internet which is where 'the general public' is likely to see it so suggesting that you don't use some phrase where 'the public' can't see it in practically means you can't use it anywhere.
I know the last thing I want to do is self censor myself everywhere because someone somewhere might get offended.
OP tried to get around that by trying to say that when you could be heard by 'them' you shouldn't use those words, but this is the public internet. You are always communicating in the presence of those that will be offended.
Likewise, editing a paper to remove grammatical errors is also not "self-censorship." It's improving the clarity of your message.