I think I understood all of that except Haskell as seen by LISP fans. Haskell is a cute but vicious cat? What?
Vicious: I have to model all my program's data structures within Haskell's type paradigm, or I get ripped to shreds by the strict type checker.
Alternative explanation: the photo shows what I looked like after I programmed in Haskell for a while :-)
Bias: I'm a lisp programmer xD