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epoxy-like tubes of Go-Gurt

Well, the important part of that statement is probably epoxy-like which is probably meant to describe the consistency of the Go-Gurt. What makes go-gurt more epoxy-like than yogurt and what that adjective means elude me though

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It's probably not worth getting bogged down in the details when it comes to Pollan's polemics, but in my (admittedly limited) understanding the whole point of GoGurt is that it's less thick than ordinary yogurt, so you can suck it out of the tube...I'm having a hard time believing he's ever actually eaten a GoGurt.

Gogurt is actually really thin, more like thicker cream. It's not the good spackley (and tasty) stuff like greek yogurt or my favourite redwood farms goat yogurt (YUMM!!!).

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