Sorry to hear - this must be immensely stressful for you, but I definitely appreciate reading about the failure.
This quote really spoke to me:
> I also learned the level of commitment it takes to bring something from 0 to 1. It's really, really hard to build something from scratch. And it takes an insane amount of irrational confidence.
I've found the same: working at a very early stage startup gave me a new level of appreciation for people who make any new business work, whether it be a deli or a unicorn. It's very, very difficult.
Unfortunately, starting a software business by trying to build too much before shipping is very, very expensive. In my experience, people talk about MVPs as an obvious destination - "in order to prove this out, we obviously need the ability to make payments, the ability to list excursions, ...". In reality, I think finding an MVP is a skill more akin to archaeology: everyone one of those "obvious features" should be scrutinized closely. Is there a way to manually do this? Does the manual version have little enough friction where it will actually allow me to test my business hypothesis?
I also think "building the real thing" is often a trap: "real software" grants you scale but makes it difficult to build a real relationship with your users. At the birth of a business, a close relationship with your users where you can get great qualitative feedback about their problems is far, far more important than scale. Your solution is probably wrong and your understanding of the problem isn't nuanced enough to build the right thing: you can just hope that you're in the ball park enough where people want to help you get a run.