15 karma · joined July 28, 2021
To his point: personally, I find it shifts 'where and when' I have to deal with the 'cognitive load'. I've noticed (at times) feeling more impatient, that I tend to skim the results more often, and that it takes a bit more mental energy to maintain my attention..
I had a similar experience. Working with a therapist helped me learn boundaries and eventually grok (with support, considerable patience, and repetition from her) that I was addicted to 'saving the day', to solving the problem, the pace, chaos, the deluge of information and technical challenges. I was energized by it. I felt smarter when I was in the eye of this storm. It took me quite a long time to fully integrate and understand that working those hours and wearing 'the cape' is toxic to yourself AND others. I assumed that my efforts were wanted, appreciated, and valued. Only in hindsight, did I 'notice' it had the opposite effect. My intentions didn't matter, the high I felt, the passion, and manic energy I radiated was easily misunderstood. I realized too late that my boss and many of my colleagues resented me for these behaviors. It was decsribed as exhausting by a friend. It takes time to learn new habits, to change, and learn boundaries and how to be present. For me, it was worth the effort.