tiravia

same - done with applying. has only consumed a massive amount of time with no results. perhaps im just from the island of misfit candidates but shifting focus for now to work on a reset as you mention. feel like im just too stale to continue that path. diving into perhaps some of the things @keenmaster mentioned, perhaps working on some certifications. either way, opportunity ebbs and flows (imo) just need to be better prepared to take advantage.

best regards to both of you (and anyone else reading feeling similar circumstances).

thank you for the perspective and you're right (imo) - survive and adapt. your suggestions sound like a great starting point.

similarly, I was able to go through k-8 with no effort outside of paying attention during class. high school was more or less the same, not to mention interests can easily wander during those years. in college I quickly discovered I could get more or less straight Bs with almost zero effort and figured the effort needed for the last 1 point in GPA was far too "expensive" relative to the first 3 so I coasted.

never having explicitly failed during those years ill admit my level of "grit" is lacking. after a decade and variety of circumstances i sit here, mid 30s, saddled with a ton of student debt and no career. in the grand scheme i have definitely failed; if this reckoning point (realization) had been reached as early as mr. tao perhaps there would be time to turn things around.