34 karma · joined October 20, 2009
Perhaps I should have prefaced my remark with: "for those women who are interested in the profession...."
[edit] it's interesting though - amongst homosexual men, there's significantly less stigma against prostitution AND significantly less care about the health risks. There's also more men who are doing it and they make less money than the women.
It's similarly thought provoking, but a bit more balanced, less angry, yet a bit patronizing to men.
Most women don't do this because of the social stigma, and those that don't care about the social stigma don't do it because they don't want to contract STDs--in particular, Genital Herpes which can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact. I'm surprised that the article didn't examine the health risks of the business.
I'm certain that a high class escort is safer from health risks than someone who works on the street, but how much safer? That is information I'd be interested to learn.
That said, I have several friends--women and homosexual men--that have done and do this type of work. When they talk about it, they always say that they "love it." They do it for awhile and pay off some debt. Then they inevitably age out of it or go onto work that they find more meaningful. This article confirmed the stories they told me.
I recently decided I would learn to sew my own swimwear and bras since most of what fits me is horribly ugly and overpriced... I'm in my 20's, fit/5'8"/narrow ribcage/large cups. Forget about factoring support into the equation.
After 10 years of spending hours and hours every spring/summer looking for the perfect fitting bikini, I realized that in that same amount of time, I could learn how to make my own swimwear and be set for the rest of my life. "give a man fish he's fed for a day, teach him to fish he's fed for life"
Going through bra and swimwear patterns, I've learned that the construction ranges from simple to very complicated. Unfortunately, nobody in the industry appears to be doing anything that's particularly interesting or ground-breaking. Very little that appears to be designed by and for a large-busted woman. Patterns are classic, even corsetry-inspired. No new construction methods or materials. Too bad because there is a huge market for supportive and attractive bras - "of the future"?
Lululemon has some great sports bras that are very supportive and cute and the price is reasonable. I wish more companies would follow suit.
What I'd really love is supportive bras with moisture-wicking materials covering the underwire. I have no idea why no companies that I know of, other than Lululemon, have capitalized on this. It's so obvious to me!
Brainstorming has value of it's own.
Denmark was, of course, expensive by US standards. But upon returning from Norway, he remarked on the absurdly high cost of living. He made lasagna for his Norwegian girlfriend's family and it ended up costing around $60 US--just for the ingredients and a soft drink. Eating out at a burger-type joint ran nearly $100. It's not affordable unless you're absurdly wealthy.
In fact, your comment merely reinforces your gender bias, which I'm guessing many of your peers also hold.
"man up" ? Are you saying a man wouldn't get upset about gender discrimination? A bunch of men got VERY upset from the mere mention of gender discrimination--tried to put me down for suggesting it and told me to quiet down about it. Imagine if you were ACTUALLY discriminated against! What would you do?
You can figure out that I'm a woman within 30 seconds of reading my application because of the organizations I've been involved with, what I studied, my accomplishments... oh, and of course the video.
Second, it's less about being "docked" because I'm a woman, but more about evaluators not relating to my accomplishments because what they value doesn't line up with what I've accomplished.
You can scoff at the "'they don't relate to me' crap", as you so eloquently put it. Or you can look at it for what it is: a problem in the tech world which results in a higher barrier to entry for women than it does for men.
It's easier to ignore this as if it doesn't exist and feign umbrage to me stating my fears, than it is to actually examine what goes on in an open-minded and sensitive way.
To relate to me you don't need a "a pair of breasts and a rush of estrogen" (how vulgar?!) but you do need a modicum of open-mindedness and sensitivity. Such characteristics you sorely lack.
I'm not trying to perpetuate the gender gap, but to acknowledge that it does exist in tech. Via discussion and awareness, maybe one day it will cease to exist.
That's what I really want. Men AND women evaluating me who see my potential as a businessperson even though I don't fit the mold of a traditional Silicon Valley tech entrepreneur.
Unlike most women in technology that I've met who have encountered bias and discrimination due to their gender, I'm NOT afraid to talk about it. I'm happy I brought this up and am not at all sorry that it offended you.
I think it's pretty gratuitous for you to give me a lesson on selling to investors and customers here. Yes my comments may have been polarizing. I don't think you understand the opportunity cost of always saying what you think people want to hear.
I've gotten a lot of opportunities by speaking my mind to and rubbing influential people the wrong way initially. They give me attention they normally would not give, and in debating with me give me more respect in the end than had I just championed the status quo. This isn't something I seek out, but I find that standing my ground almost always serves me well.
I don't think you, a YC alum, would necessarily dock me for being a woman. I do think that you might not find some of my accomplishments as interesting as you would someone more like you. Is that unfair? Only if I knew YC alums were reading my application after I submitted it. Because I would have tailored it to you in the first place, the YC alum. It would take too long to re-tailor it at this point!
That's ALL I meant with this thread.
I apologize for any misunderstanding or offense taken.
With all due respect, you don't know how you would deal with being a minority until you've been one.
I even have my own event production company in New York City. I'm excellent at speaking with people.
I still need work on pitching, but I have no problem talking to everyone... since that's crucial in my other line of work.
That's it. (I have technical co-founders)
The fact that my concern is controversial, but perhaps resonates with people, is why it got so much attention.
HN exists as a forum for discussion and I raised a discussion that is germane to this announcement. A lot of other entrepreneurs have raised similar concerns in different ways... which is why this thread is so popular.
I got under people's skin. But for you to call it "whiney" is really out of line.
My concerns about this announcement as just as valid as other's people's as evidenced by the amount of upvotes.
I am the first face on our application video. We did that to set us apart from the rest of the videos.
I'm done with my applications, and confident that we made good applications for the people that we initially thought were going to review them... but not for unknown founders whose personal biases we are unaware of, but I can only assume based on my personal experiences with men in tech.
Re: "chip on my shoulder" would you be offended if your peers wouldn't look you in the face? how about if they re-asked your business partners the same questions they asked you, only to get the same response?
I also wonder if things are better on the West Coast. My experience has been on the East.
The fact that you're willing to get under people's skin is an asset.
I hope that is the case, and that more people reading this thread are sympathetic to my position than are offended.
Their problem is an unwillingness to shake the boat. You don't seem to have that problem.
There was a book written in the 70's called "Women Don't Ask". It starts with a case study about grad school TA assignments, and why men got the best assignments in this particular department. The answer from administrators: "Well, we gave positions to everyone who asked for a specific one. And only men asked. So women got the remainders." (For a period of time, the book was given away to any woman who would ask for it.)
Since I read about that book in a review, I resolved that I would always ask for what I want. This is part of my entrepreneurial style. I get what I want because I try to know everyone, and I am good at asking for what I want directly politely and firmly.
[edit: this tends to work better for me in person than on the inter-web/twitter-scape/whatever you guys call it. ]
I can't tell if you're insinuating that I am using sophomoric platitudes, but I hope you respect that I have been trying to speak mostly about my personal experiences.
However, the presupposition that someone will be prejudiced against you on the basis of their gender can also be damaging to social interactions -- such as this one.
I think we all know that people are prejudiced.
Confronting people on their prejudices can be damaging, or it can jolt them out of their complacency and get them to view you with a fresh set of eyes. It usually depends on the person and also how honestly and straightforwardly you present yourself.
The YC application seems to be more focused on who you are as a person than on your technology. I highlighted that on the application.
But I have a feeling that my accomplishments are not going to be as appreciated by a given YC alum than the original people that wrote the YC application. That's all.
I wish my gender wasn't important, but the way I've gotten treated by a majority of men in tech has spoken volumes.