throwawaydotcpp

Yeah. BigCo bureaucracy and management is killing me. If you don't mind me asking, what smaller company did you go to, or what does smaller company do?

"Try something you dreamed of doing as a kid. You were more honest with yourself as a kid."

Don't think I agree with the socio economic commentary a whole lot - after all, the capitalism MMO is what brought me my childhood dreams - but the above statement is deeply true. It guided me for part of my career. But I lost my way.

Thank you everyone for all the amazing feedback. It's so helpful after you get stuck in your own head with your thoughts. Very good stuff to ruminate on here.

I probably should have mentioned for context - for people recommending radical alterations to my life, or wondering why I'm not on the verge of retiring - I'm a divorced dad. I have my kiddo 50% of the time and still write his mom large checks every month. So, no spirit quests for me nor moving somewhere cheaper, etc.

Not sure if I'm jaded or not - just feel like my internal compass is on the fritz. Nothing is singing to me. I think plenty of products are cool, sure (like - slack.com for example - love it) - but I wonder - what will I learn there? What new problem will I be able to solve??

Even if I'm not hands-on at work, I still dabble with new tech at home. I've always had side projects at home in my spare time. I don't trust developers that don't.

Thanks for your thoughts. I look back on a lot of the random jumping around I did earlier in my career - and I never thought twice about it! I always did what interested me and it was never about money, or wondering what my "career arc" would look like. And yeah, if I had tried to "climb" I might have been better off, but instead I have some cool accomplishments under my belt and I'm proud of my work and have learned a lot. Now, I guess it's unsurprising in the late 30's, to be thinking - will this sustain/increase my employability, will this be sufficient for my retirement, etc -- none of the carefree exploration I used to do on a whim. I'm glad you were able to shake yourself out of a rut, even if it was a golden rut.

Don't know how you can conclude what I have in my bank account, and you're way off. Sorry :(

Moreover, not sure how having money in your bank account helps with professional ennui. I don't want to take a trip, I don't want to take cooking lessons. I want meaningful work.

Good advice, I took it about 6 years ago, and now I've got a great kiddo sleeping one room over from me. We had a pretty awesome wiffle bat sword fight tonight :)