throwaway_poor

It's liquid alright (public).

Interesting - my friend, without being particularly charismatic, is indeed very likable and has worked with some of the people involved for decades.

Let's say maybe calibrated risk appetite. Too high of a risk appetite has its own problems especially long-term.

They did tell me that the business was working well. I didn't care to ask how much they made from it, and it is public knowledge at this point, I just never bothered to look it up.

Whatever is to handle is not between us but 100% in my head, I agree.

Thanks. What were your takeaways from it?

Undoing in what way? Btw my friend hasn't changed in ways that I've noticed.

I am definitely feeling more inspired than jealous.

I'm sorry to hear that money stole your friends...

> Would you feel like you’re wasting time in your job if he was broke or the startup was struggling? Probably not.

Right, that was my experience with other friends who got into the startup game.

> Unless you can turn this feeling into actionable steps that improve your wellbeing - stop thinking about it. It’s completely worthless otherwise. Comparison is the thief of joy.

I'm definitely not jealous and I'm not even sure I'm envious but there's definitely an unhelpful comparison going on in my mind. I completely understand this from a rational standpoint - but trying to remind myself not to compare myself to others hasn't actually resulted in me comparing myself to others less. I need the thing that helps me go from "I understand this line of thinking leads to unhelpful feelings" to actually stopping the thinking. My mind goes there on its own...

I'm already there! Living well below my means too.

Maybe if that's how you know them. This is someone I know from before wealth and who hasn't been acting as a stranger though. I didn't know they had become this wealthy until very recently.

Did you keep any friends from your pre-money days? How did the wealth change your relationships, where you hang out, etc.?

Lol exactly! Thank you for this. For now I'm at the slot machines all day getting soaked on cheap whisky and I just saw a high roller come out. Maybe the best move is not to play.

I'm very happy for him and I don't feel jealous or even envious. It's only causing me to question my professional choices.

Interesting. How did they react? Was it in the US? (My friend and I are from a culture where talking about money is less socially acceptable than in the US.)

It's a good point. In particular I feel it's going to make parenting challenging because his children will know growing up that they will never need to work.

That makes sense. Thanks for sharing. I have more friends who've made multiple millions from their businesses and their success doesn't create an itch in me, maybe I should think of him this way.

Separately, I'd agree the game is rigged, but there isn't much I think I can do about that beyond casting my vote responsibly... it doesn't really bother me.

He definitely has not let wealth or success become his identity. I didn't know that he was so wealthy until recently but it happened years ago and it didn't change our relationship in any noticeable way. It's good to remember to be a friend.

I fully think in this case they deserve the win. They worked hard, took risks, invented something that solved real problems, and have been executing flawlessly on it. I don't feel like it's an unfair win, I'm just wondering if I'm playing the right game.

Inheritance I wouldn't care about because there's nothing I can do to change what I inherit. Lottery I'd probably care about, though. I've always looked down on people who buy into lottery but I think if I saw someone close to me win big I might feel like I missed out for not playing. It's a good comparison because I remember the early years when his business success was really far from certain - he bought a lottery ticket that was probably worth several hundred thousand dollars in the first years (income he would've easily made if he'd been an employee instead of being a business owner without any customers).

Thanks, this is good advice. I don't have envy or jealousy but I do need to decide for myself what I want to actually do. So far I was feeling good about not playing the startup game because from the sample of my friends who gave it a shot, it felt like a lot of stress for what ended up to be moderately higher rewards at best and worse ones at the median. Now I have a very different picture of what success can look like. Then again my friend is not me and I don't have the same skills or opportunities or risk tolerance that he had so maybe the conclusion will be that I don't do anything about it. We'll see. Thanks!