throwaway9934

We don't have one. I need to either find a way to fix it or quit. I've taken a lot of the advice on here and I'm actually feeling hopeful for the first time in a long while.

Neither one of us can be fired unfortunately. I would have done that already had it been an option.

Thanks that hadn't occurred to me. I've found myself bewildered by some of his statements and actions, maybe that will help me understand whats going on inside a bit better.

Hey thanks for responding. I'm sorry to hear you are in a similar situation.

Okay so yes we can agree on what we're trying to as a company and we can write it down. We even have a performance metric. So that's a good start but you'll see things start to break down for us soon.

There is no accountability, and we absolutely cannot agree on individual roles let alone come up with titles.

Turnover was > $1m, we have no funding, and < 10 staff. Both of us have a technical background. Our model is basically one large up front set up fee and then an ongoing subscription.

Your comments about the CEO type role are interesting and really accurate. Right now I'd guess that I'm 80/20 tech/sales and he is 20/80. So he is the initial primary contact for most of the sales although over time I seem to become the primary contact. I think this is because I am more willing to recognize and admit the problem exists.

Some of the technical problems are only currently solvable by one of us because of specific domain knowledge. Otherwise I would have taken responsibility for everything technical.

We cannot agree that the company is not solving current customers problems well enough. I hear a lot about managing expectations and T's & C's.

I feel like I often have to step in and fix relationships with customers because of this. Then I end up making a plan, taking charge of the plan, and making myself accountable to the customer for executing that plan. I seriously piss him off when I do this, especially if it is one of "his" accounts.

I've taken on board a lot of the advice I've read here today, and I just maybe think that I may have been able to finally get the idea through to him that happy customers will make his sales job a lot easier. I've also (I think) managed to make him see that it would only take us a maximum of one month to solve all the remaining problems that I (and most of the customer base) classify as major.

I'm going to do everything I can to make sure the company will survive the next couple of months (that means sales) and then I'll need to revisit the idea of what's next.

thank you

Not Michael :)

This is really clear advice and thinking; thank you.

We had a positive interaction today, first in a long time. I took a lot of the advice on this board and the result was good. Hopefully we can make it continue at least in the short term.

We're self-funded so there is no higher power to call upon.

It's a cooperate or die situation, and yes we need a miracle.

I've taken advice today based on what I've read here and I somehow managed to speak frankly but with empathy. For the first time in I can't remember how long we managed to get along and talk about the problems. It felt like a good change. I don't know how much of it was me, him, or the situation.

I don't expect that to last indefinitely but if we can survive this I think I can create a win-win situation and find myself a way out.

We're both technical and we've both made similar financial contributions and sacrifices. One thing that has become painfully clear for both of us is that we need professional sales and marketing help from someone who knows our domain inside and out.

The problem is that we can no longer afford to bring such a person into the company until we dig ourselves out of this hole.

It's strange, yesterday I would have said it is beyond repair.

Today, after taking some advice here I see a sliver of hope that it might be salvageable.

I've managed to make myself replaceable at least in tangible ways so I hope to find myself a good way out where everyone wins.

I've not thought of that, but it's something I'd be willing to try.

Our contract does not define how things will be resolved in a conflict. Basically we end up deadlocked and nothing happens until one capitulates. This has resulted in absurd scenarios that I would be too embarrassed to admit.

If we manage to survive this crisis I there is a lot of work to do in order to fix things. There is a lot of built up damage.

Thanks for the response and for the book tip. I will read it.

You are right that it was a big mistake to not get involved in what the other was doing. In retrospect I think our egos prevented us from allowing "interference" in what the other was doing so it naturally developed like that.

Thanks for responding and please accept my apologies in the delay in my response.

I had a long overdue positive interaction today. I think we've both realized that if we don't work together on this we're finished. So that's a good start.

I'm going to take your advice about doing something that's not work and then try to have a conversation later. I have noticed that in the past he can totally reject an idea but then accept it a few days later.

I have also had more success previously with presenting a course of action as me attempting to support him or his goals. My ego gets in the way of doing that too often though. It's been tough.

I think I may also have some internal insecurity in regards to him trying to hog the limelight whenever possible. I like to think that I'm above feeling that but I do often have to check myself to make sure I'm doing things for the right reason and not as some kind of passive aggressive retaliation.

I realize now that at some point in the last few years I totally lost any sense of empathy for my co-founder. As I write this I realized that today was the first time I've shown him any real sense of empathy in a really long time. Coincidentally I think we may have actually made some progress in turning things around today as well.

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

You are right, it's really hard to get to a consensus if one person feels attacked.

It's really hard to describe some of the major problems without coming across as blaming though since we've more or less followed a path that I attempted to explain monthly for at least 6 months (sometimes nicely and sometimes badly to be honest).

I've taken the most blameless approach I can and I think it might actually be working now though! We may have come to a common realization today that if we don't come together as a team right now it's all over.

As dysfunctional as it is, I don't think either one of us would get lawyers involved. I think maybe I've managed to take the first step towards some kind of reconciliation between us. I think that perhaps the desperation of the situation may have created an environment where we are forced to work together for a common goal (saving what's been built so far).

You make good points but as you say that ship is sailed. I instigated a good long talk today based on the advice here and it was remarkably positive. We decided to focus only on finding a way to make the company survive, and if we manage that to revisit everything in a few weeks or months.

We got the first sale before we incorporated. 50/50 happened because neither would accept less than 50.

Neither one of us would have started or continued if it meant ceding control to the other. It is literally 50/50. I don't think I'll ever be doing that again.

I have tried numerous times in the past. However because things were "going well" he had no reason to listen and we kept marching towards disaster.

Oddly enough, based on a rare positive conversation we managed today, it seem likes maybe this crisis might put us back on the same page. Will have to see how this plays out in the coming days and weeks.

There is indeed a lot of good advice here and I'm touched that people have gone out of their way to give it. I couldn't respond right away since the post didn't get any responses for the first hour and I had already turned in for the night. I didn't see the responses until today.

I do concede there is a passive aggressive element to my post, caused by a lot of internal resentment and frustration.

But no one will recognize our business or who we are. But I can't really go into detail on that topic without actually risking revealing something.

I genuinely reached for advice in a desperate moment.

I chose my words carefully to make sure this remains totally anonymous. I was not trying to frame public opinion, just genuinely feeling low and desperate.

I'm sure I'm part of the problem. I can't say that I've been some kind of angel. I have reacted quite badly and at times immaturely. I did not however intend to portray myself as a victim. It's a situation of my own making. I did choose him as a co-founder after all.

It has been a very difficult few years though. I've taken a lot on board from what I've read today and I think it's made a positive difference. We finished the day feeling like we were on the same team for the first time in a long while.

In a dark moment in the past it had occurred to me to try and sell my shares to a company in our industry that would like to see us gone. I don't think I could do that though.

We don't have a board. We raised money by taking deposits over a year before delivery. It's just between us to figure it out. I've followed a lot of the advice I've received here and so far it seems to have worked. First positive conversation in a long time today. The first step is to try and survive what's left of this month now.

If I had to make a guess he cares about what the business can do for his own status; in terms of recognition and validation more than money.

Sometimes that's aligned with the interests of the business and sometimes not.

You are absolutely right about the anxiety and panic taking control. Writing my original post yesterday seems to have fulfilled the function of writing the unsent letter. Seeing all of these responses today has totally changed my outlook. I guess it's clarified my perspective a bit. We had a positive work related conversation for the first time in in a really long time today.

Thanks for taking the time to respond first of all. The post hadn't picked up yet by the time I shut down for the night so I didn't see these responses until this morning.

I think writing my original post and reading the responses here released some pent up frustration on my part.

1: I've managed to take step 1 today. The response I received was surprisingly positive. By that I mean a sort of grudging acceptance. I'm not sure if that's because of the desperation of the situation we are in; or if it was a change of manner on my part. Probably a bit of both. This was probably the first work related conversation we've had in over 24 months that was free from negative emotion on both sides.

2: We don't have board; we retained 100% of shares for ourselves. We raised our seed capital by taking deposits based on the proof of concept we had when we started. Really lucky I know.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and respond. I'm honestly touched. I thought my post died in new.

I am at the office now so cannot engage with all of the responses for a few more hours.