theturtlemoves

Blue

Yes

I think much of the usefulness of syntax highlighting is a matter of having gotten used to a specific editor. Long time Visual Studio user, I tried VSCode and Jetbrains but for C# I switched back to good old VS. I know the pattern, the cadence, by now. Much like QWERTY keyboards, I'm not learning DVORAK now, my workflow is fine this way. Tried F#, but I'm sticking with C#. It's not that I believe the rational arguments don't hold up, I do see possibilities for productivity gain with each. But there's the retraining curve and that also factors in for me

You could be on to something. I mean, how many people might normally rarely get the question "How are you doing?"

> Grades are often adjusted on a bell curve and honest students are disadvantaged when others cheat.

It depends per country. Here we use a grading system that isn't relative to how other students perform. You basically get a percentage score on how many questions you got right. Perfect score is 100. 55 and up is pass, below that is fail.

But still, teachers can make exams easier or harder depending on last year's scores, so there's that. In short, nobody will hone your mind for you, it's up to you to want to.

Neither of us knows. That's the difficult bit in topics like these. None of us is psychic and can tell what'll happen next. Will he be happy and healthy? Or will he have anger issues, meltdowns or exhibit destructive behavior to himself and surrounding loved ones due to neurological damage? We always hope for the best. I hope the boy recovers well. But there are no guarantees in life.

I wish you strength in dealing with your situation. Neurological problems are really hard to deal with, especially when you come to realize it really is what it is and have to let go of futile hope.

Please don't put words in my mouth

> Treatment progresses it never stops or moves backwards.

Unless the episode gets buried at the bottom of the medical file. Unless treatment is "completed" because no more progress can made. Unless insurance doesn't cover it anymore. Unless one bad doctor discourages the patient from ever seeking out another doctor again. Unless the patient himself has only dim awareness, if any, of the fact that this happened and impacts their behavior on a daily basis.

Unless it really can't be fixed, no matter how hard everyone insists that in this day and age it should

Unless they're "Lost to follow-up".

Unless Unless Unless ...

Oh yes, I'm in agreement with you there

I'd be curious to read about 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 year follow-up.

Party pooper warning.

I'm afraid I don't have rose tinted glasses, due to personal experience with a family member with TBI (accident at age 16, 3 weeks in a coma). The aftereffects are profoundly destabilizing to his environment. I sometimes have quite a dark view of people's need to be a rescuer and celebrate the "alive!", when they don't have to deal with the next 40-60 years of living...

Vot a nice... castle...

And then? Either we think linearly: Crash into the rocks, game over. Or circular: difficult times ahead, we'll get through them again

You know, many eastern countries apparently intuitively think in cycles. The west tends to think linearly: "We're trending upwards, argh argh overpopulation, famine, death. We're trending downwards, argh argh population collapse, famine, death".

Same with the perception of time. My country sees time as a line. I once had an interesting training where the instructor pointed this out. She went on to say that seeing time as a circle or a point is also an option. It wasn't until I hit the second half of life that I got a glimpse of what that looks like, personally.

Perhaps subconsciously, Japan envisions that the birth rate will go up again sometime in the future and they will have preserved their identity and culture from which to build again.

Maybe unrelated but this memory pops up: I once worked with a mechanical engineer who could not visualize anything in his mind and had quite some trouble with word finding and explaining his ideas. He just couldn't say what needed to be built, he could only evaluate after it was built (often "argh, no not that").

It's as if his training had centered so much on 3d modeling and tangible tweaking as you go, that he hadn't learned to simulate anything with his thoughts before starting. He had to start building it to figure out what he meant. Incredibly creative person, out of the box thinker and big picture visionary, but with difficulty translating his ideas to verbal concrete steps. But nobody realized this, which resulted in a lot of frustration both ways:

"Why didn't you build what I said?" "I did. This is exactly what you said." "No it's not! I said x y z" "Yes you said x y z, this IS x y z" Silence. "Then that's not what I meant"

> The stories the kids always loved most were the Grimms, the violent ones. I think they allowed them to process and in some weird way make sense of what was happening in the real world around them, if such a thing is possible in that environment.

I once read somewhere that after an earthquake, the children who drew pictures of the injuries and catastrophe, later showed fewer symptoms of stress and anxiety than the children who drew happy happy sunshine butterfly rainbows after the event. Seems like it's more beneficial to acknowledge the bad stuff than to encourage positive thinking.

Thank you for pointing that out. Fair point. Sorry for spoiling the atmosphere.

Depends on what you mean by right. Oftentimes it's rephrased as "The other guy's obligation".

[flagged]

> If you're in a toxic environment, this is what it's like.

I think you nailed it. People's behaviors are always adaptive to their environment.

"Cultural conservatives might try to explain the Tragic Twenties by citing the rise of secular individualism among American liberals and pointing to the fact that religion seems to be a tonic for unhappiness. But the rise of religious non-affiliation in America has been a steady 30-year trend, whereas this falloff in well-being started in 2020, when secularism reached its recent peak. So, that explanation won’t do."

Tipping point?

There are tribes where the mom cares for the sons until they're eight and then the boys are raised by the men from there on. Joining in the tasks the men do daily.

That said, a lot of people don't bond for the sake of bonding, but bond over a shared task (one that really needs doing, not an invented game that mimicks a task..)

Reality is the final judge. If you get the seamless integration to work well and it's what you want, go for it. If it doesn't, revert to the default setting. Vanilla grows on you, it really does

If you've never bought into it, that the other sex is to blame, then I'm sure you teamed up quite smoothly.

But I've seen numerous examples, and in my own marriage we also had to figure this stuff out because as kids we had bought into a lot of (never quite spoken out loud but loudly hinted at) unhealthy messages...

Where did I say anything about a cultural fad? Where did I mention "dangers of downstream effects"? Where did I claim that I think "we prefer strangers raise our kids"?

You're pulling your reply straight from the offended-rack

If I may attempt to clarify my stance. Stereotypically, on average, interpolate for your marriage and all that, if a man does a task/role, he has the ball. He doesn't share the ball. Doing X is my job? Aight, my job. No touchy. Mine. I've got this.

Wife starts doing X. Boom, clarity lost.

I know, I know, shades of grey and all that. But on average, divide it clearly and you know who is responsible for what.

You did all of it, while your wife was sick. Kudos man, tough job done well.

My point wasn't about the heaviness of the task, or about how well each could do it, but about clarity and role division.

Four things are needed. Stereotypically they're divided Dad: Protect and provide Mom: Nurture and nourish

You could do it differently, but that only works if you swap one, not share half half.

Both have been eroded. Kids are raised by strangers, our food is crap, you can't warn each other about dangers cause that's somehow an insult and a single income doesn't pay the bills.

The goal seems to be to set men and women against each other.

If you're not paying for the product, you are the product

Exactly. There has to be a payoff. When that's sheer enjoyment, that's fine. But that could flip and then payment, exchange of honest value, is a good model between people to do things and get mutual value exchange

"Why can't we just demand to spend someone else's money on this because they ought to agree that this is important. Meanwhile, I myself can't be arsed to spend a dime on it, but yeah still important..."

No. If you think it's important, you pay for it.

Fair point, hadn't looked at it that way.

(Edit: Word of warning though, my father was a bricklayer and he also screamed at his kids whenever he came home overworked. I'm not saying I know the answer here but every job has its "they don't pay me enough for this shit")

Really? Time to move to the USA I guess. Here in Europe it seems to me there's a big gap between minimum wage and high paying jobs. Not much in between

(Afterthought: Don't forget the time and cost of retraining. I don't doubt your statement that you'll make just as much but I doubt it'll be right off the bat)