sumfoni

Its often enough easier to control the system directly, which you care for, then to wait for others doing what you can do by yourself.

I'm waiting again for an issue being fixed by some admin from a jira system. I could just do that myself, i could do that better then the other person, but i don't have the permissions.

Sometimes its like 'do i pay someone else to paint my walls vs. do i do it myself'.

I'm a software engineere, it feels naturally to control my environment.

That looks weird.

I did already see pictures made by google from Art galleries and you could make out painting details (hair, color, hight of colors) but this does very very smothed out even when zooming in completly. No details from the canvas.

Is that an issue i missread? Is it how they made the picture or is the canvas really that smooth?

Never really had 'collaborative effort and serendipitous & spontaneous conversations with colleagues that solve problems out of the blue'.

Most of the time, i have someone next to me or close to me, who is on phone with someone else.

I had a 4 people office once and it was great. Close the door, noise is outside.

I'm not sure if its the internet which allows us to think more/faster and more global but i do have the general thought that a ton of things we do as humans is not worth while doing.

I would love to start today stopping capitalism and inventing a new system which optimizes for life stability, good food, travel, piece, sustainability and time with others.

Instead we optimize for revenue, growth and because everyone thinks they can do it better, they have the business idea, everyone likes to earn money.

Whats my conclusion? I try to optimze my work by making sure i control certain aspects, do what i think i enjoy and is more or less useful. But my goal is to stop working with 50 or so.

Funny enough, your story is strange though, you probably did not create your startup because you thought you would change the world, did you? Or did you do it because you thought its life fullfilling, it earns you respect and money?

I don't get it.

What does he win doing that? One publicity stunt. Thats it

He could have done much more inside Amazon and get fired later.

It sounds like you are doing similar on what i'm doing.

Unfortunate for me, my street smarts and enthusiasm doesn't help me in achieving my next dream.

I would love to work for a specific big company but without structured learning, i will not beat that shitty interview barrier.

You know, i'm an expert in developing software. But i'm an expert in this because i spend years mo-fr 40h min. with time on weekends and after work.

There are plenty of people coming to me and say stuff like 'uh why does that take so long' 'i can do that quickly in an hour' etc. and at the end of the day they are wrong.

In those cases, i would just love for people to accept my expertise and let me do what i'm good at because it costs time dealing with this stuff.

And you know, all those speculations of people who are sitting down for a few hours, writing something, gathering a little bit of data left, a little bit of data right THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

You are not an economist, you are not a doctor, you are not a virologist, you are not the statistics guy. Apparently you are a SRE.

What do you think, your statement actually does? I tell you what it does, if it even does anything: It works against all the experts trying to actually do their fucking job on estimating and deciding on a daily bases about human lives.

Do you know what i decided when corona started? I will, this time, just try to be as undisruptive to the society as i can. I don't have to argue against or for it, i will trust the experts and politicians on this one.

Not everyone needs to form an opinion and also state it.

And yes it might be harder for you to believe in your president right now, i do get that. But let me give you a tip: Whenever everyone would love to stop quarantaen today, i will try to avoid public spaces as long as i can, because the risk of having corona, is actually for me, a bigger problem then just staying low for a few month.

So you are telling me, that you write an article with misstakes and think you should be the person making statements because you are able to write an article?

And you also think, that politicians are doing an economycal suicide just because they like it?

Srsly, wouldn't you assume and shouldn't you assume, that there are experts calculating and estimating that shit on every single day and trying there best to find a reasonable way out of this?

One thing i'd like to post here:

I started talking ritalin when i tried a degree again with ~22?) and it was day and night to the same year before:

My metal wall of starting/doing was gone.

I'm still struggling with even talking ritalin regularly and there are downsides to it, but i do have the feeling that it is something which helps, something i actually really should talk regularly.

Its like 'i don't need glasses' 'holy shit how was i able to walk around without glasses?' 'Oh no wonder why i had to sit at thefirst row while everyone else had no issue at all reading' 'how did that go so bad suddenly?'

To be honest, that is my main problem.

I know that i can develop much longer then i'm actually doing.

The biggest issue for me with procrastination is not pushing every single thing until i really have to do it but that my idea of myself feels that i can do more than i'm doing.

I spend plenty of hours coding from 16-6 when i was 16 and learning php. I have plenty of experiences where i did not just stop.

The most visible to me is it with something new like a new job or task: First few weeks in a new job is great. I do a lot, i'm quite productive.

And the other thing is: If i really only can do 2-4h real development and then i need a break, i definitly don't need a break of 20h. So how to get back to it without that 20h break?