Apply for a job at a place like MIT Lincoln Laboratory and try to get hired into their ballistic missile defense division. Your primary responsibility will be to shit-grin back in the face of military commanders from the Pentagon while assuring them that the next round of multi-billion dollar contracts headed Raytheon's way are going to keep America safe in the event WWIII breaks out. One of my former colleagues claims it's the closest thing in corporate america to "doing gay porno" on the job.