Yeah that advice is the worst if you actually live it.
Prepare for the worst (as in planning), but never take it to heart or you’ll drown.
2,505 karma · joined December 4, 2010
Previously, I was a team lead in developer productivity at LinkedIn and data engineering at MachineZone (YC 08). In another life, I learned Korean and spied on North Korea for the US Army (read: Cryptologic linguist). I have also lived and worked in South Korea and Japan.
Prepare for the worst (as in planning), but never take it to heart or you’ll drown.
It goes deep too. All the way down to the fear of hearing a ‘no’ answer. So it’s self reinforcing all the way down.
What have you done?
What is your next step?
In fact, I was proud of being so “responsible” as a kid, not that I was neglected and parentified.
The more diverse the people a guesser interacts with the more dysfunctional, as in not working how they intend, guess behavior becomes. If you need to interact with people who have even somewhat different values guess culture becomes unworkable.
“Thing is, Guess behaviors only work among a subset of other Guess people - ones who share a fairly specific set of expectations and signalling techniques. The farther you get from your own family and friends and subculture, the more you'll have to embrace Ask behavior. Otherwise you'll spend your life in a cloud of mild outrage at (pace Moomin fans) the Cluelessness of Everyone.”
The more diverse the people a guesser interacts with the more dysfunctional, as in not working how they intend, guess behavior becomes. If you need to interact with people who have even somewhat different values guess culture becomes unworkable.
The last decade has worn out my optimism and tolerance about privacy concerns. If a company wants my trust, they have to proactively earn it by excessive transparency, at least GDPR level, on their part.
If they can do that, I’ll consider it; otherwise, no thank you.
It's not “hoarding” until it crosses the dysfunctional line. This is the problem with using technical terms in nontechincal discussions.
Technically you could have a pile of dirty takeout containers and be healthy, but it is just extremely unlikely because a series of things need to happen to arrive at that outcome and the distinction is almost always in the process not the results.
It sounds like installers won't be able to do this modification moving forward either, so you would have to do it DIY.
For me, I don't care about my car having a computer, but I don't want it to talk to services without my permission and building their own thing shows a disregard for that desire. I love CarPlay/android and not offering those two most popular options doubles down on that disregard for customer interests.
Oh god. It's the Cadillac from the article.
You just need to ignore the bread aisle of supermarkets!
It started happening on its own once I found a way to feel safe and secure. I grew up never having felt completely safe even at home because my father was alcoholic so I had a chaotic home life. And I learned that I always needed to be on guard even at home or in my room.
So quitting my job and letting my wife totally support us for a 6 months while I reassessed my life and let go of being the “breadwinner”/man of the house was key. But hard. I made SV money and she makes $18/hr. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And the scariest.
But Berne Brown was a powerful voice to help me choose a direction and learning how to connect with others.
Just feeling empathy for others isn’t enough. People will be suspicious or think you’re fake if you don’t reciprocate openness/vulnerability.
* The power of letting go of perceived control or outcomes and just focusing on what I can do now in the moment.
* How to be open and vulnerable and why it matters for building relationships.