After I read this, I felt like I was the one writing it.
I am in a similar situation and am still struggling to find a way out. I have tried to work on stuff on the side but it always fizzles out after a short while and I lose all motivation to work on it. The main problem is that there are no people around me who are in a similar situation / think like I do: which kind of make it even more difficult!
I was thinking of just taking a month or so off and just relaxing and starting on a project. Not sure if it'll work but I know that just whining and not doing anything about it isn't going to get me anywhere. Just keep working at it and something will work out. If I try, I risk failure, if I don't, I ensure it!
Feel free to get in touch with me (email in profile) if you want to discuss more.