Also, after making a career switch from archaeology to software engineering, even weirder to see my former occupation and project dig site re-emerge here on HN
0 karma · joined February 27, 2022
Also, after making a career switch from archaeology to software engineering, even weirder to see my former occupation and project dig site re-emerge here on HN
> At the opposite end of the personality spectrum are insecure people, who I’d also avoid, as they tend to see credit as a zero-sum game, needing to diminish you to bolster themselves.
As a self-proclaimed insecure person, I take a lot of issue with this statement, putting it mildly. I have no idea where Patterson got this idea, but it is, of course, utter nonsense. To write off insecurity like this is as much an ableist statement as any, as if you have to be confident (from the start!) about anything you do. It is almost an immediate write-off of people in the autism spectrum, with attention deficit disorders, people with mental or physical disorders, with anxiety disorders (like myself), "neurospicy" people (includes me as well) to name a few, or just anyone with traits that make them feel that it's hard for them to fit in.
I wholeheartedly agree with the advice to focus on people and to "choose happiness" but this is no strategy for dealing with adversity. I have, of course, no idea what struggles Patterson's had to face in his life (we all have them, for sure), but I'd suggest reading up on Kristin Neff's works on self-compassion instead of dismissing insecure people like this.
I will propose the opposite. Rather than to "avoid working closely with them" and exclude them further (feeding their insecurities), foster relationships with insecure people, and foster your own insecurities. Listen to them (the people, the insecurities), as they can tell you what you have been so sure about that you may have to reconsider.
Highly insecure about posting this, fearing the backlash, but there you go.