As an aphantasic, I anecdotally do rely heavily on linguistic cues in my memories.
165 karma · joined January 25, 2021
We came across this interesting piece about physical differences between kids in 2007 and kids in 1985. In short, the average 5 year old in 2007 had the athletic abilities of a 3 year old in 1985. Granted this data is rather old, but anecdotally we did notice our 3 year old playing on equipment specified for (and mostly being used by) the much older children. https://poh.ngo/en/the-state-of-play-in-japan/
The best public and highly used playgrounds we found were in Kyoto (near the train museum), in Osaka called the mountain slides (near the Children's Plaza), and in Arashiyama at the top of the Monkey Park hill. Aside from that, paid entertainment was the way to go.
Happy to share more if anyone is interested in the experience, but I'd rather stop there for now.
I took a somewhat roundabout way of going to a 4-year (first 2 years), then a community college for a year, and back to a different 4-year (last 2 years). In my experience, most of my community college classmates seemed to actually want to be there. They were motivated to learn and not just "get a degree". It's not that the university students didn't want to learn, its just that they were the ones who "knowledge comes easy" to; But, even then, a lot appeared immature, took the education for granted, had everything paid for by parents, and were perhaps guilted into to being there by parents, society, etc. Even in the last 2 years I noticed this.
Community college students were typically more mature, paying their own way, some having families and full-time jobs. And to top it all off I actually knew my professors in community college. I never once met 70-80% of my professors in the university. Maybe things would've been different at a smaller 4-year university, but community college felt just like that -- a community.
As far as other people saying that children won't fill that void in your life - they could be wrong. I felt similar to what you describe, albeit much younger than the average new parent, and having a child did fill that need. That said, it brought up a new feeling of regret of having a child too young.
If you don't have children, it's not the end of the world. A child is fun, and I have had many giggles with mine, but I also have missed out on a lot of opportunity for pursuing and exploring passions that could also fill that hole. Given the added stress of and time consumed with children, I don't think I will have another. My husband and I have collectively agreed about the things that are important to us in life, and they are infinitely harder with a child.
All that to say, you know what choice is right for yourself and you still have time to make that choice.
It's taking time to talk to other people and hearing that people are happy and successful doing all sorts of different things.
It's recognizing the core values that make you feel fulfilled.
Now, 2+ years on SSRIs and I can honestly say I've never felt more like myself. With the meds, I feel like I've unlocked my full potential. Before, I had bouts of heightened success, but they were always weighed down by this underlying instability. I don't consider myself a "drugged" person, but rather the version of myself that I want to be.
The only suggestions I have, aside from what others said here, are marketing/design related. The "for parents" section on the homepage has red check marks and this initially made me think this product does NOT offer those things. Red is usually reserved for bad/warning/errors and personally for any checklist I'd stick with the same color for all check marks. Additionally cutting down some of the text on the pages could be helpful. Marketing should be straight, simple, and to the point. For example instead of "Work flexible hours to suit your schedule" maybe replace it with "set your own schedule". If you want some help in this area, feel free to reach out and I can give some more suggestions.
I was really torn about reading it at first, but he was the type of person who wanted to go ahead of the pack and clear the path for others. His journal was the last way for him to do that.
He was older than me and, reading it years after his death, it's shocking to see the differences between our lives at the same ages. He always seemed older and wiser, but now -- having just turned the age he was when he died -- I realize why he felt so lost and lonely. Being an adult in your mid-twenties is difficult. I have it easy, and I'm having a hard time. Throw in years of battling addiction and no college education, and you can't help but feel the entire world is against you.
Losing an older sibling is a strange experience. The longer you go without them, the smaller the age gap between you becomes. Eventually, you're older than they will ever be -- I haven't reached that point yet but just thinking about it puts a lump in my throat.
I've considered publishing bits and pieces of his story on a blog, or in a book, someday. Anything that could help people in his (or my) situation feel less alone. Although, I don't think it would be much help considering his story ended.
Not sure why I posted this comment. There's not much substance here other than evidence of another touched soul.