nshkr

I used to hang both online and IRL with one of the folks in the documentary. Seems like yesterday. Still have nostaligic memories of being enamored by his stack of USR 16.8k HST modems and the T1 (iirc) he managed to get to his residence.. (again, iirc), his house was like under 1000 feet (loop length) to the CO (central office) where the 4ESS (telephone switch) was located. (could be inaccurate recollections..)

I'm in public as usual, stressed out beyond words, dead set on being dead while eternally afraid to face death.

Corruption, in a word

Some people simply don't want to be helped, to recover, or to tackling other problems.

This is an unfortunate reality. A person can become broken and doesn't want to be fixed.

Some more details:

I am permanently traumatized by many sounds, including tires crunching on pavement, vehicles passing by, loud boom boom music from trucks, and the presence of cell phone cameras in public.

I am also traumatized by any presence of strangers when my bicycle has broken down, and due to T and H, I cannot be in quiet areas. I was diagnosed with a physical disability but couldnt follow thru on appointments for an untreatable condition while homeless.

I have persistent suicidal ideation. The stress has become enormous lately and today has been absolutely awful. I am shaking and angry, and become particularly stressed during rainfall.

I am outside of a closed starbucks attempting a hack repair on my bicycle brake, awaiting a time to commute without rain.

The long term effects of homelessless have taken a tremendous toll on my mental health and has put me in a state of constant stress and anxiety. I have deteriorated mentally over the years, especially lately. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I do not want any help.

Aloha.

Again, I am not asking for anything, just relaying feedback.

Hopefully someone can help you out.

I'm not asking for money. I don't have a laptop, as I returned the last one like-new to the donor (per the text).

If you need help, ask. Hopefully someone will offer help.

If you are in the USA, have a disability, and can seek treatment, there are resources to help.

Can someone consider giving this person a leg up? It's true that my communication abilities and long term relations helped fill stop gaps over the years.

As someone who is nearing 2,000 days of two stints of homelessness since 2017, I can offer feedback that such an amount would help to alleviate basic survival pressures.

But, money will not solve any root cause issues. I've been unhoused and out of work for so long that any recovery back to a normal life has become exceedingly unlikely. I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, nor do I do illicit drugs nor prescriptions. My mental state -- stressed in survival mode -- is very much situational, yet there are underlying factors that have led to a state of permanent dysfunction and reluctance to rebuild.

In addition to food stamps, I've survived on help from lifelong/long term friends and strangers (incl'g from kind souls on hn, on a few occasions, even). One kind stranger at the local coffee shop even tried gifting me a new MBP/M2/24GB/1TB a few months ago, but my focus is gone and I was unhoused, still being criminally targeted, so I returned the laptop in like new condition to him a week later. (The side reports regarding systemic/criminal abuse against at-risk folks is a separate but related matter.)

These initiatives matter, of course. I'd gladly make use of such money. But, IMO, more important is to focus on root causes at the relevant time -- i.e. in public school settings when unchecked peer abuse occurs, as one example. Such abuse can grow into an irreparable state of dysfunction and life breakdown.

hth

T and H are major factors for ruining my life. Ruined dreams and suicidal.

As a homeless man living on the beach, I can report that crab consciousness is da kine, brah.

Pi knockoffs offer a unique form of supply chain and technical risks

the humble guys

Helped start a space long ago. It struggled to stay afloat and eventually was subsumed by the local uni. Now, my dream of a modern hs is limited by lack of funds and..space.