mindfulgeek

That’s unfortunate. As a small business owner, I can understand the business side of things — it can be hard to maintain profitability when someone gets promoted if they aren’t yet able to do all the skills of the job but get paid for it. I wonder if that was part of the strategy — not all the responsibility was added at once to transition?

We handle this a different way - when someone is promoted, they are given a chart of new responsibilities, expectation timeline and a small raise. Once they completely train into the role, which can be anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months, we give a larger raise. Again this is because we cannot actually afford to pay for work not being done. It seems people like the acknowledgement, clear expectations and reward when they’ve made the cut.

This is a go to point for me whenever I discuss how women in technology can make a substantial impact in the code base.

i Love you lessons and am amazed at your candor. Thank you for sharing. An amazing story. I’m so glad your baby is home and breathing!

I think this is a great point and perhaps if developers thoughts of it that way more they would take more initiative to create those things. If we don’t, they will and by they I mean people who will have limited understanding of the impact of those codes.

I think when someone is on the brink of a new understanding and read a book that speaks to the topic in just the right way, it can create major shifts. Though I do think the foundation of that transformation is usually the work of many years of life experience.

+1 to NVC.

Once source of Imposter syndrome is "not enough." Trying to use tools that help you have more gratitude and see abundance can help. You are enough just as you are, but when you compare you with others or even with the idea of the you you'd like to be or think you were you go Coocoo. Journaling can be a big help, especially if you write without a filter (I.e. Write down all the stuff that comes up, even the stuff you are scared to admit). Writing a list of things you are grateful for is another good exercise - 10 things every morning. It sets your mind to a positive place to start the day. Another good practice is something called intenSati. It is exercise mixed with positive affirmations. None of these things work overnight and some are a bit uncomfortable -- just fake it till you make it. Something good will come of it.

In my experience, if I am wondering if I am depressed it is because I am, it just happened slowly over time, like a frog boiling in water. I didn't realize it happened until the water was bubling all around me and I was doing things like crying in the bathroom, alone and scared. Please get professional support. Things are much better than they seem. You are on the brink of many founders dreams, but you are stuck in a nightmare. It will go away and you will find joy again. You've already taken your first step in finding it. Good luck. This too shall pass.

Wonderful that you connect to that state at all!

There are certain breath techniques that will land you in the clouds. If you do a practice like that without proper grounding, you are likely to be very disconnected from physical reality. That's my opinion and personal experience. In general (and they have the science to back this up) it heightens awareness of your senses. Though people who meditate have higher pain tolerance -- not because they feel less (since they feel more) -- because they have developed willpower to not react to stimulus the same way. Super fascinating!

I love Hu. Very good to help fall asleep. My goto version https://rootlight.myshopify.com/products/hu-sacred-sound-ins...

Think of meditation as exercise for the mind. the more time you spend, the healthier it can be. Although like anything, in excess it can cause problems. Think of an elite athlete. They can be injured or need to retire early or surgeries from over use. Too much meditation can bring a person too far away from their physical reality. Everything in moderation.

I meditate between 1-2 hours a day. Sometimes I will do more and sometimes less. I find it saves me more time that it costs. I get distracted less, I need less sleep and I find myself in the right place at the right time more often. I also have more clarity on what is important so the time I have, I use wisely.

A disappointing end though in my opinion

Oh man! Not easy, especially when caught off guard. I was laid off unexpectedly two years ago. It was surprising and not surprising all at once. I think there is a lot of good advice already. I think it is a blessing to be let go before the boat sinks. Maybe you lose control over some things, but the morale hit and depression of working through a literal death march sucks.

I had more than a decade of steady work, so the experience that my job was guaranteed was humbling.

Overall, I'm thankful for the loss I had. It wasn't an easy ride, but most of the good ones aren't.

Playing with your breath is the ultimate hack of the human mind. There are seemingly endless combinations of techniques that each have a unique physiological impact on the body. Use the right one at the right time and life flows smoothly.

I was very happily surprised by how much I enjoyed this book.

+1 to reading The Power of Habit

Meditate. There are many different ways. Find one that works for you. It is the best way to become more conscious of your habits and less reactive.

The book Hillbilly Elegy is a great read to get a peak into this culture: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0166ISAS8/

Can you post a link?

Yes! This makes sense.

I wonder how his partner feels about the experience.

Every child should be so lucky to have this experience as well. Empathy goes a long way.

Her father sounds a little too much like my daughter' father. Leaving him was the easiest thing I ever did -- it just took 13 years to work up the courage to do it.

When I was a year out of cancer treatment, I ran into a fellow patient. She and I had a rare cancer and were treated with a handful of others.

Of the three of us who remained, only two of us remained cancer free and she wasn't one of them.

A week earlier, there had been five of us.

I knew this. I didn't know if she did.

I didn't know what I would say if she mentioned them. It was possible she had the same problem in her head.

After we caught up, she asked if I had seen one of them.

Telling her the truth wasn't nearly as hard as answering her next question -- what about the other girl?

In general, kids and young adults are more unhealthy in measurable ways -- cancer, depression, suicide rates -- all higher. While this is just one aspect of what is causing trouble, the lack of independence has been linked to kids making really, really bad choices when they are finally alone. You can also ask any college professor how the quality of problem solving and independence has changed in the past decade or so.

In order to fix a problem, you need to fix the cause, not the effect. Many of the causes of the poor decisions we make are due to conditioning of our childhood. While adults cannot blame their bad decisions on their parents, they certainly can see a root cause of much of their poor choices -- if they can see it at all.

I didn't read the article about the two year old. Thank you for sharing the details! I think their research was in trying to understand why we've turned into a culture that is afraid to let their kids have freedoms that use to be common.

If their kid was sleeping and they stayed in range of a baby monitor, what is the risk there? Yes, it makes sense to make the risk higher if you perceive a parent as less apt, however, we are fast to judge that aptitude without knowing much of the context.

While there are plenty of ways people are disconnected from reality, the impact on our culture when kids don't have independence and parents make decisions out of fear has a significant impact on our world.

You're right, we can't make a wise judgment without more data. People all the time are making guesses and taking action based on it though. That's the scary part.

Interesting! I remember first reading this on Wikipedia a few years ago. either I'm misremembering or the article has changed since then. Here's one article about Ford's influence on it: http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/sep/...

A quick Google search and there are a lot of others like this. Thanks!

The 40 hour work week comes from Ford. It is optimized for factory workers. Data for creative/makers would be interesting to see.