47 karma · joined January 5, 2021
How I coped with it: My dreams actually helped me a lot. I see her very often in my dreams. In different contexts and different stories. It helped me to understand more about myself, what makes me sad, or lonely or afraid. When I see her and everything is okay with her and the dream is neutral, I go to her and hug her, tell her that’s she is dead sometimes and say that everything is fine and that I miss her. Because that’s is what I do. Something I see her she I morphing and her skin is changing to an unhealthy state. That’s shows me that I’m afraid of death. But when I’m wake I know I can’t beat death and feel strong empathy with her pain. This what I can’t handle with the most I think. Seeing her in such pain, but her pain is past.
I will never be not missing her.