kthrowaway

> At some point, people have to give up "that first dose" effect and take what Ketamine does offer in the long term.

Yeah, I was quite sad that I could never quite achieve the bliss of that first dose again. If I didn't have things going on in my external life right now to keep me busy, I definitely would have chased that bliss to a dangerous degree.

> That's why doctors tend to lock the dose at one single point. This is what happens with nearly any drug like this, but Ketamine is certainly severely strong in this aspect.

Do you happen to know what that dose is (or could point me at a paper/some other reputable source that states it)? Would love more information on being able to dose myself responsibly.

> Let's not have another opioid crisis please.

For sure - hence why I stopped using it once I became uncomfortable with how my body was responding to it (or rather - not responding to it).

The ramp-up to "I need to save this for extreme circumstances only" happened over about a couple months, during which I'd use it maybe once or twice a week. I didn't feel any particular longer-term boost attributable to it; it felt very much like just an acute treatment. Maybe I'm due for more experimentation, I'll keep your comment in mind the next time I'm anxious and feel like giving it a another try. Regardless, thanks for your comment.

I dunno what to tell you. I will say that I have also been prescribed multiple antidepressants (Sertraline, Lexapro, fluoxetine, wellbutrin) and I stopped them all because I hated the side effects, so pharmaceutical companies haven't been any help to me either. That's why I was so initially interested in the potential in ketamine as a treatment. If it works for you, more power to ya. I have a friend who goes in for regular infusions and says it's better than any antidepressant she's ever been prescribed.

Despite having access through acquaintances to recreational ketamine for quite some time, I refused to try it until a couple months ago when a major life event left me spiraling and borderline suicidal. Upon taking it (nasally), I was amazed at how effectively and immediately it stopped my runaway panic and allowed me to feel peace. I fully believe that having access to ketamine at that moment allowed me to stay grounded and made it tangibly easier to bounce back and recover in the weeks following.

I have depression and anxiety, so it wasn't long before something else, less severe this time, set me on another spiral and I decided to address it with ketamine again. I found that the same dose was now less effective at quieting the anxiety. As I continued to experiment with ketamine as a potential anti-depressant and anti-anxiety drug, I found that I was building up a tolerance alarmingly quickly. Doses that would put others in a k-hole would leave me still very much able to feel my panic and anxiety. Realizing that, I decided to stop using it before the ratchet of tolerance turned too far. I still keep some ketamine in the house, but with the personal rule of "only reach for this if you'd otherwise be reaching for a gun."

My personal hypothesis is that whatever chemical difference makes my brain more depressed and anxious than a typical person is also making me more resistant to ketamine, though of course I have no science to back this up. (If you do, please link me!) I'm grateful that I don't have a very addictive personality - I know many people who have made a regular habit of it.

There isn't much point to this post other than to share my personal experiences with ketamine. I'd love to hear the experiences of others with it. I think it has an incredible potential as an acute anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication, but would love to see more studies on it, particularly on how it affects the neurodivergent.