I had similar challenges in my past (see my comment history for details).
In summary, I found myself in senior management positions twice in my career, and hated the role. It was an effort to get back into a hands-on role, but I was lucky to be able to use my network of previous employers for a freelancing role (at least as a stepping stone).
I’m now in my late 50’s and still coding professionally (and still coding at home to relax).
You clearly loathe your current role and you tried to become an IC but was that because you wanted to? Or were you just looking for an escape route out of your current predicament (ie, management, but not really management)?
Would you be happy in a management role in a different organisation?
Personally, I spent a lot of my career in smaller companies (<100 employees) as IC and management but it was when I was in management in larger companies, that I hated the role. Company size matters when it comes to your role.
So maybe a management role in a smaller company might suit?
Also, at some stage, your age starts to be a factor when looking for a job, especially as an IC, competing with lower paid and more up to date junior developers. I’m not sure where the tipping point is, but you might start to see that when in the job market. Bring an IC in your 20’s or 30’s isn’t the same as being one in your 40’s (or 50’s!).
So my advice….
If you like management, seek out that role in smaller companies. There’s less BS and more focus on getting things done. And you’re closer to the tech.
If you want to revert to an IC, start a personal coding project at home. I started writing a chess engine in C as a means to get back into coding (C was my main language in my early career). Put it on GitHub along with any other utilities you code.
If you’ve no ties to NYC, why not relocate within the US? Easier than Europe (no visa required) and likely a lot cheaper.