igetspam

You're not American, are you? Maternity leave is not a year here. There's a 12 but it's "weeks" and never months. That's the law I'm the very liberal states.

I think you're still in the minority but it's a good thing. I'm devoted to my spouse and my kid. I'll drop anything for them. Some of the fathers I know feel the same but some smell like mine and he was a piece of crap. I fully support parenting being a team sport and in my opinion, that's how we're going to fix the modern family, by making it better than pretend version of The Good Old Days.

When bad people use innocent people as human shields, you don't kill the innocent. This "by any means necessary" attitude is inching toward genocide, which is something you'd assume Israel would empathize with. As someone with Jewish blood and, technically, Jewish by rules of the faith (follows the mother, etc), I'm fucking appalled by this.

I'm sorry but... WTF? Are you saying that Israel has streets lined with dead and hospitals filled with rotting babies in the NICU and they not sharing that? If that's not what you're claiming, then you're making a false and shameful comparison. What's being done to Palestine is indefensible. I don't see that as weaponization as much as a people begging for their survival. Palestinians seem to be at risk of being wiped out because of a terrorist faction that lives near them.

Men can stay home and that's the point: we don't see men volunteering to be the stay-at-home parent because there's no incentive for them. We assume being mom is the pinnacle of female existence because we ignore the reality that all humans have goals and independent needs. Maybe your wife is special and thinks she needs nothing else and get cup is filled only by pouring herself out into the cups of others until she's empty. Maybe your local community days the same thing out loud. But I bet if you asked your wife if she ever felt like she'd like to do have something for herself, something that let her feel like individual she once was, she'd probably have some comments and ideas. Perhaps explore that a bit.

Ooh. That's credible. A right wing think tank!

I'll see you and raise you "single women are happier"'

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/2...

My spouse (partner) should avoid those that put their own misconceptions about health science ahead of the greater good. Thankfully, those people tend to advertise loudly and are often easy to stay away from. We can't avoid every danger but we don't have to stand on well marked landmines. I feel like that's a fantastic lesson most kids lear: don't stick your hand in the fire on purpose.

What evidence do you have to support your assertion that women would naturally give up their independence to stay at home?

That's not the natural choice. The natural choice is to find the bottom of the barrel outside care and have a second income because we've made it financially impossible to do anything else.

How many do you need?

https://www.politico.com/news/2023/09/24/anti-vaxxers-politi...

Then why don't we pay them for it? Why aren't men clamoring for the role? Why do we often put "job" in quotes when we talk about it?

Being a caregiver is absolutely noble but unless you're working in a professional environment taking care of the infirm, we don't really give the role much respect.

What detour? This feels like a straight line to reasonable discourse. What does forcing one sex to be the DRI for childrearing improve for kids? Specifically, what does it improve for girls?

You have data to support this claim?

Hahaha. As a parent and regular human, I'm fully aware of who can breastfeed. I assume my point was clear though. We need to stop putting all of this on women. Yes there are certain biology issues that require women to take some outsized roles in child development but those aren't permanent and telling women that they should stay home with the kids is usually not aligned with "until they're off the breast and then the father can stay home instead."

Thankfully modern science has invented and improved the breast pump and the bottle warmer and after recovery, women don't actually need to stay home for kids to get breast milk. So there's really no need to be gender specific about which parent should stay home, past reasonable maternity/paternity leave periods.

On the other hand, being single income is a luxury that not everyone can afford anyway. Our living costs have skyrocketed since 2020 and both parents working is necessity for lower and middle income families, in many cases. Even if the second income covers little more than child care, that "little more" is meaningful to people.

If we want better families, we should provide ways for lowering the burden and not force women (her it's women because nothing grows in or comes out of men) to have kids they can't care for and/or don't want and find ways to make childcare more affordable.

Perhaps fathers could.

If Twitter is your truth-in-media source in Germany, that's unfortunate. The friends and family I have im Germany don't seem to lack for legitimate news sources, so I'm a little surprised by your claim. Can you elaborate?

That's his version of it: name calling and whining. Let's not forget that he called a rescue diver a "pedo guy" because he lived in a popular place for divers and thought Elmo's wild rescue tube wasn't going to work (it wasn't).

COVID led some of my family into being antivax and the ones who already were just went deeper and bought into QAnon. Ny partner is immunocompromised. Willfully making choices that are dangerous to the general population is where I had to draw the line. It's unlikely my kid will meet many of their cousins. I just can't trust their parents and the things they say are comic book level conspiracy.

My story isn't unique. Geography isn't the only thing preventing interaction with extended family, some of it is the deterioration of family because the world has gone dumb.

Wait a second... this is starting to sound familiar. I swear there are policies that are too into place but I just can't my finger on it. Hmmm...

/s

Finally!

The idea that this is about "control" is incorrect. It's about safety. I want to know where my kid is, if I can't find them. I want to know they're at school and not the woods between school and home. I don't need to know what they're doing but I do want to know where they are, if they aren't where I expect them to be because I love them and don't want them to get hurt.

Before the advent of cell phones, kids couldn't call you or tell you where they were, if they were lost. We lose fewer kids now.

Trusting little kids to not get abducted or wander off is how kids get lost. We're not talking about teenagers here, we're talking about children.

A cell phone is the best tracking device I've found for knowing where my kid is. They won't leave it behind and if it's outside of where I expect it to be, I get an alarm. I'd love a better option but I really haven't found something that's more reliably close to them at all times.

Holy insufferable change, Batman! Why?????

This is why I provided the first link. Follow the threads. This is not a single event, this is a theme.

But yes, I do think people should be accountable for what they say. (I know the fun term is "cancel" but let's call it what it is, shall we?) If victims of child abuse have to be called to account, so that _he_ may be convinced, then I do not think he is a person we should hold in high regard.

Just in case people don't want to follow the threads, here's Stallman on statutory rape in 2006:

https://www.stallman.org/archives/2006-may-aug.html#05%20Jun...

(He himself recanted the statement years later but he had to be convinced by victims that victimization is a problem.)

Don't let one bad action color your feelings about a person. There are plenty more.

I'll even help with a starting point: https://daringfireball.net/2019/09/richard_stallmans_disgrac...

I once brought up RMS, in relation to a project a friend was working on, on misc@google, when I worked at Google in my 20s. This was circa 2005 or 2006 maybe. Within minutes I was called out by female engineers for promoting someone I'd come to learn was well known to be pretty sexist. That was about 20 years ago and the details of events shared are lost to me now but the sting of promoting a project he was on (and was later removed from) is still there.

I find the management software to be... lacking. That's where ubiquti does great, in my opinion. I have some Mikrotik wireless wires and they're great but I never look forward to having to touch them (which is extremely rare).

With all the price creeping and content being spread out everywhere, piracy and a storage array are the cheaper option. My MIL bought a piracy streaming stick at a naval base (I had to stop that because it didn't use a VPN). Before the sharing crackdowns, you could load balance costs but now it's just bad spending.