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Totally. And yes you got it.

I agree. Her statement in pure literal terms is quite negative whereas the reality may be quite different. Predictions aren’t certainties.

Favorited. I was talking to someone (non-dev) yesterday who prototypes with Claude and then goes back/forth with the lead engineer to clean it up and make it production worthy (or at least more robust). I like that model.

Perhaps but it’s more the concept/contrast presented that stuck with me more than the persona. That said - that VC isn’t alone along with many other capital allocators.

Correct! Mobile typo - sorry!

Two years ago, I was enjoying a drink with my wife, her friend, a very senior female VC partner, and another friend.

Somehow we talked AI in some depth, and the VC at one point said (about AI): “I don’t know what our kids are going to do for work. I don’t know what jobs there will be to do.”

That same VC invests in AI companies and by what I heard about her, has done phenomenally well.

I think about that exchange all the time. Worried about your own kids but acting against their interests. It unsettled me, and Kyle’s excellent articles brought that back to a boiling point in my mind.

Edit: are->our

You mean all these intense type-A New Yorkers around me?!

Maybe grit is the answer. I don’t know. I agree that to some degree momentum of any kind helps break a rabbit-hole moment. But it’s not that alone that always solve the problem.

One thing I know helps. Keep talking to people Keep conversation flowing who buddies, connections, or new acquaintances.

So happy to find ways to connect here too if having a sparring moment during these moments helps!

What drove you to get the diagnosis?

My wife was diagnosed within last 2 years and thinks it has changed (and helped) her come to terms with a number of behaviors. And learn how to resolve/improve.

I wonder about me, too. Haven't done it. Is it the case (honest) that may we all have just a little bit anyways?

I think we're soulmates. You articulated so well what I think about my own approach or lack of approach.

> Mental stability is probably one of the reasons different people have vastly different productivity or achievements. It is mental stability that brings focus, not the other way around.

Agree, at least in concept. I'm aware that some of my perceived or real lack of of progress in some life areas is due to mental instability. Various forms of it, some more active than others or present than others.

A lot of mine focuses on career things. I've got a bank of knowledge and skills that aren't easy to replicate and a career track circled around those things, but lack (I think) the passion for that career track.

But do I like the passion or do I just not have clear goals? What should they be?

In 2022 I was evaluating a senior position at a start-up and a friend asked: "what are your goals, or what are you solving for." My wife asks this question too.

And I tend to stare somewhat blank at the question. As an adult, the goals I'm sure I want have much less to do with career and much more with self. Be happy. Be productive. Be a warm and loving person. Be a responsible, fun, constructive parent.

That doesn't mean that I don't want a career or have aspirations, but there's so much less clarity. And so I've resorted over time to likely unproductive/destructive approaches - more argumentative than necessary, sometimes very responsive, sometimes unresponsive, substances and behavioral things that look like bad habits, addictions, etc.

What do you do to work through these challenges?

Unless I did my math wrong:

I’m 150ish pounds. 72 kg. Meaning .35g per kg is 25g.

That’s 5x what I take! Just 5g once a day.

So far on creatine: quite significant physical effects (I lift often too). Cognitive: very unclear, have to isolate away a million other things.

> The main problem I’ve had is the unpredictability of where the complexity lies. Unless you’ve done exactly what you’re doing, before, with the same tools and requirements, there’s a good chance that some discrete trivial aspect could take up an incredible amount of time, and that won’t indicate whether the main goal will take more or less time

What a great articulation. Completely agree.

This is why I don't blame PMs anymore than devs anymore than business folks throwing requirements at PMs. Possible to find fault everywhere.

I think the broader problem is scale and growth. Many people in many roles are caught in growth-mind or scale-mind companies where the business wants to operate at a velocity that may not align with the realistic development work we're discussing. PMs are similarly caught with less time to understand, scope, plan, etc. Business folks ask questions like "why isn't this ready" to devs that may not understand the reasons why the business operates the way it does, or the business at all.

Full disclosure: I'm in insurance. Seeing lots of these problems play out in front of me. C-suite moving at speed 100, devs moving at a perceived speed of 50. Silos and communication problems and unclear requirements up and down the stack.

So, in my interactions, the way I try to help is just to understand the most basic components and their ability to come alive or not. Is there anything to show? Yes, ok - let's celebrate a small win. Is there a rather large delay? Why - ok, let's use that to reinforce building something robust vs. crap.

But, there are schedules! Someone above mentioned sqlite. Another example comes to mind: Obsidian. I think they're anomalies (good ones) rather than examples that broadly prove the point to slow down.

Oh, parents no better. I have friends that do nothing other than check TikTok in down time. I do what I can to block and gate my own usage.

This is the direction of my thinking, too.

Earlier discussion focuses on writing software at a slower pace to inject more accuracy and robust thinking/design/code. Conceptually, yes, I get it!

But in numerous practical scenarios, some adherence to a recurring schedule seems like the only way to align software to business outcomes. My thinking is tied more to enterprise products (both external and internal) rather than open-source.

I like an active dialog with engineers. (I'm neither SWE nor PM). Let's talk together about estimates. What's possible and not possible. Where do you feel most uncertain, most certain. What dependencies/externalities do you expect to cause problems.

Those conversations help me (business/analytics-side) do things like adjust my own deadlines, schedules. Communicate with c-suite to realign on what's possible and not. Adjust time.

Makes sense. I think it’s hard to argue against someone that uses the platform and others as an example of entrepreneurial pursuits. Not “all social media is bad” when to use different lens types.

> The kids are smarter than most people give them credit for

When they aren't consumed by TikTok?

So, could you say "ok, but I still can't do that"

That's the point I am making, and the point of asking "what is the alternative"

Developers aren't alone in adhering to schedules. Many folks in many roles do it. All deal with missed deadlines, success, expectation management, etc. No one operates in magical no-timeline land unless they do not at all answer to anyone or any user. Not the predominant model, right?

So rather than just say "you can blame the PMs" I'd love to hear a realistic-to-business flow idea.

I am not saying I have the answers or a "take". I've both asked for and been asked for estimates and many times told people "I can't estimate that because I don't know what will happen along the way."

So, it's not just PMs. It's the whole system. Is there a real solution or are we pretending there might be? Honest inquiry.

I'm happy to be reoriented with examples. Please provide some? You said countless but mentioned none.

Not sure if new but every tool has its coaches and influencers. Running entire businesses off some SaaS tool. Not long ago I felt like I was swarmed with posts from Notion coaches. Obsidian no different. Repeat for every other tool out there.

3 sounds fine.

Then I ask: why not add a week to how long that thing will take, meaning it stretches two sprints (or whatever you call it).

Add upfront. Then if you get to hard convo where someone says “do it sooner” you say “not possible.”

I don’t disagree but is the alternative unbounded dev where you write code until it’s perfect? That doesn’t sound like a better business outcome. The trade off can’t be “take as long as you want”

I’m not a power user/poster but I see it as no less valuable than many other similar places. All of them have similar problems. For me it’s probably bifurcated by time spent tuning the feeds.

I got 99 problems but an agent ain’t one.

Coworkers, too.

Thank you!

I love that we are ignoring Git and taking Legos.

Anyone have a solution for another annoying problem: 1 missing piece.

Somehow got lost halfway through the build.

Yup: golf. Go out there and enjoy the air, sun, walk, company.

Sorry - what doesn't work? Discovery?

I think it's possible to listen and discover things (e.g. companies I don't know) without further succumbing to opinions or other comments about those companies.

Your scenario sounds like a nightmare of sorts. Constant chatter of what or where to go and no commit to one place. I think you can overcome a lot of excuses by meeting at one place and then sorting it out.