2,055 karma · joined March 8, 2019
But I’m also sick of hearing how these teams can “ship” so fast. Yeah you can ship, you have no customers. No users, no SLAs, no employees. Good work, you just did whatever you wanted and then typed “git push” to a repo you control, with standards you control, and a build process you control. Wow those stodgy big co’s could learn something from you!
This is a similar convo to “why use Kubernetes”. Do you have one binary and one database with one password? Go nuts with your single VPS and bash scripts and keep telling yourself that everyone is over complicating it. But are you scaling? You’ll probably need some orchestration. You’ll probably need some managers, a ticket system, on-call, standard build tools. Documentation.
Scaling to billions with a team of 20 is a fantasy achieved only by the select few. As always it is a fine line companies should tread lightly. Don’t rush to hire, but don’t be afraid of it either. Focus on scaling intentionally and carefully.
What crushing apathy is it that now keeps the peasants so docile? Where before the railroads and factories would burn when they learned of the decadence on the other side of the locked gates. Toiling day in and day out to earn in a lifetime what these people lose track of in a Slack channel before breakfast.
We have invented so many stories to justify this system. To avoid acknowledging how some deep, implacable greed has been unleashed among us. Money as the only moral good. Here we reap what we’ve sown. This behavior will get worse.
I just wanted it to succeed so badly, I took on an absolute ton without any systems in place in my own habits and daily life to protect me. I would be in a conference room tracking ten different threads of work day in and day out. Making decisions for every component, directing people, debugging…at first I felt like a god. Everyone was looking to me, we made more progress in six months than the last two years, meetings would get cancelled because I couldn’t be there to make a decision (should have been a massive red flag but it fed my ego).
But the way I work is to put my head down and get addicted to a problem in some sense. I can’t stop until it’s done. I think of these as loops in my brain, and I deeply need to close them. It is both a strength and tremendous weakness. As I climbed to principle engineer and above, this was a huge boon. A few weeks of nonstop coding, then crash for a couple weeks till the next tasks come along. But at a certain level, I stopped having clear cut tasks. The work had huge scope and was totally open ended. I was doing quarterly planning and this quarter’s work wasn’t done yet, etc.
I got lost pushing to be “done” and it never came. One day my brain started hurting all the time. I started crying when I had to think about work, out of nowhere…really scary for me who always thought I was rock solid even after months of long days doing nothing but thinking hard. I tried to push through, ask for more money to soothe my pain, the company offered me a sort of break. But I had to quit cold turkey.
Now I am taking a real break and the thought of that work makes my body tense up. I get tearful again. I am going to take a lot of time to build some workout habits, some set hours of the day where I will never “work”, and do some emotional digging into my loops.
Thanks for sharing! It is so nice to hear everyone’s stories.