chamboo

Especially if you were always ahead of the class in school, and could get away with less studying than your peers, you are prone to this way of thinking. The fact that you cannot grasp something immediately and innately may be disturbing to your brain, and it will easily get overwhelmed by the sheer scale of it all.

Just want to tell you that if you are able to recognize these fears/doubts, and continue what you are doing in spite of them, you will reach your destination. You are still incredibly young. I am 30 and not even to the point where you are, congratulations. You have 6 years to fuck around before we're on even playing ground.

It may sound stupid, but what has helped me deal with overwhelming emotions is the fact that we can only be successful one day at a time. If you have a successful day, then you are on the path to being successful at whatever you're wanting to do. Even if you don't exactly know what it is yet.

Focus on having successful days, and eventually you will look up and be amazed at what you were able to achieve. Also, realize how much time you spend looking for those silver bullets-"Am I reading the right stuff, is there a way to get there faster? Is there a better way?" These are all important to think about, but they can also be used for reasons to do nothing, which is not a good formula for success.

As one successful dev once told me, there are tons of ways to get there. There isn't a better or best path that anyone really knows of. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it seems to be true. I think a lot of times, worrying about finding the best way to get there is the best form of procrastination. You fool yourself into believing it is better to find a better way than to actually do something. I think the best advice when you come to a point like this is to think of something you want to create and just take some time off to learn how to create it. You may realize along the way that there are certain things that you really don't care about learning for the time being. If you look at all the different responses from HN users, you will see that every response is unique. Some may suit you, but some won't. I think it's really going to be up to you to find what you need and what you don't. The only way to find out is to do the work.

Cheers, and I love the website you created. Keep up the good work and remember to not be too self conscious about the stuff you put out there.

But yea, maybe that is a good start. I need to shrug this feeling of worthlessness that I carry so heavily. Maybe these are the baby steps needed.

Second, I so want to believe that this is true. Even if I could just make 1k/mo, my stress level would go from 9.5/10 to 0. I've been told so much by my parents that I'm a fool to pursue such a thing, that I'll fail etc... I think it's really ingrained in me that it would take nothing short of a miracle for me to succeed doing this. It doesn't seem at all rational, but I fear it for some reason.

I never committed to it. I spent time questioning whether this was right for me, wavering between this and that, giving up, almost going back to work at what I was doing before. There have been some very dark days between then and now. I know nothing more about programming now than I did then. Every time I would sit down to start, I became overwhelmed and then didn't do anything. The recurring thought is 'there is just too much to learn'. 'The people getting into Ycombinator are Harvard/etc.. grads, why do I think I can compete'. These are illusions to some degree, but definitely kept me from making a move up to this point.

Thanks for this advice, I'll definitely follow up.

This is me. It seems very complicated to overcome such a thing, as some of the assumptions seem rational. What do you deem as 'practical things to do'? (Or do you have any examples of this?)

Also thanks for this. I don't know what to say, but this hits home rather hard.

I just wanted to say thank you for this post. Although it may come off as a bit harsh to some readers(and I've never been a fan of the 'tough it up' mentality), I needed to hear this, and I think you're right on every point.

What I would like to know further is how you managed to do CBT, as I know that I desperately need something like this, but I can't find a competent/trustworthy psychologist to save my life. Any links/resources/advice is GREATLY appreciated.