annie_muss

There's a lot of good advice about health, bedtime routines and sleep hygiene. Definitely take it on board.

However, I think reverse bedtime procrastination is mostly tied to emotions. It's easy to feel like you have no time to yourself when you have a busy job, busy commute etc. Or you feel like you "have to" put time into "worthwhile" activities like studying. Then it gets to bedtime and you finally give yourself permission to relax, and you end up scrolling on your phone for a few hours.

Here's a few things you could try:

Try scheduling fun and relaxation throughout your day. Give yourself permission to enjoy yourself at these times. Now, when you go to sleep you can remember that you had time to yourself already, and you have time to yourself scheduled for tomorrow.

I often struggled with negative emotions and looked at my phone to distract myself. Even noticing that you are doing this can be tricky. Try to name the emotions you are having throughout the day (literally saying them out loud can help). Over time this will lead you to realizing how your habits form. "Oh, I'm feeling disappointed with how work went so I want to distract myself and look at my phone".

This sounds very simple but it is surprisingly difficult. Good luck!

Todo lists can quickly become wishlists. The initial enthusiasm for a hobby turns into extremely unrealistic grand plans which then lead to disappointment when the lofty goals aren't met.

Try to keep your planning focus on now and next. What will you do today and what's the next step. Don't try to make a year step by step plan because the new knowledge you gain will inevitably change your original plan.

For me, ADHD was a huge part of my over planning problem. I knew I had issues finishing things, so I thought time management books and todolists would help. They did not. If you feel inhibited by your lack of focus and ability to do things then don't hesitate to get checked out by a professional.

> I didn't realize these things because I had systems in place to cope.

This really resonates with me.

Before I was diagnosed with ADHD I considered myself a basically functioning adult. I read about symptoms like being overly sensitive and thought "Hah, that's not me, I have a clever system to get around that". Both for small everyday things like wearing clothes ("I'll just wear them inside out/cut out all the labels to avoid the annoying sensation") and bigger things like the inability to keep a job ("I'll pick up some freelance work. It's normal to be in and out of work in the fast paced world of startups").

Looking back, these were all clear signs of my ADHD. I was in my 30s when I was diagnosed. I wish I had noticed sooner, but I was so good at hiding it no one noticed. I didn't even notice myself.

To start with, where do you currently feel limited in your life? What made you seek a diagnosis?

Personally, I couldn't keep a job for years. This led me to realize I had ADHD and get diagnosed. You seem to be successfully running a company, so you might have developed the good coping skills to deal with your limitations already.

I recommend reading Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley. It's a good first book for people with ADHD and can answer a lot of basic questions about medication, therapy and feelings you might have after being diagnosed.

It's a lifelong issue. You can improve but it will never be easy. You don't go to the gym once and say "Ok, I'm fit now!" and it's the same with ADHD.

Are the distractions internal (thoughts) or external (notifications, other people etc)? Try your best to remove or limit external distractions.

For internal distractions, try to notice what is triggering them. This is much harder than it sounds as internal distractions are often based on patterns of thought that we've had for years. The first step is simply noticing and naming the distraction. Example: "I open up my email client. I see 20 unread emails. I feel overwhelmed. I switch tabs to a news website to take my mind off the feeling of being overwhelmed."

Once you can name these feelings you can practice spending more time with them. Instead of following the distraction, take a few deep breaths. Notice what happens to your aversive feelings. Do they get stronger? Weaker? Stay the same? Just like someone working out, feeling the burn and continuing the exercise, you can have these negative feelings and still do the task.

When you've finally got the hang of noticing the feeling and pausing to acknowledge it you can finally start the task. Focus on starting it not finishing it. Small chunks, acknowledging progress and managing your emotional state are the name of the game.

Some hobbies I've had in the past:

* Woodworking

* Piano

* Videography/video editing

* Drawing

* Martial arts

* Running

But the best advice I have for you is to accept that your interests will change, often suddenly. Try to avoid spending a large amount of money to get started in your hobby (don't buy a brand new top of the line camera, borrow an old one). Try to look for small pockets of success inside the bigger hobby so that you can think "I learned a song" instead of "I never learned piano". Try to leave your hobbies in a way that you can pick them back up again. Keep a few notes and information about what you were doing with the hobby so that if the interest strikes you can get going again quickly. If you got some tools/equipment, keep hold of it in a box/container that keeps it all together.

A rough scale might be:

Mild ADHD: You're more distractable and forgetful than most. You have techniques to get around this such as reminders, planners, assistants etc.

Moderate ADHD: You struggle with important task completion all the time. You've experienced consequences from it such as job loss or dropping out of college You may have depression or anxiety related to your ADHD

Severe ADHD: You're in prison because of a violent outburst caused by your emotional disregulation. You're homeless because you can't hold down a job or a relationship. You're dead because you crashed your car while distracted.

First of all, I'm glad people are trying to come up with assistive technologies for ADHD. I applaud anyone who actually makes something and puts it out there.

That said, a lot of "ADHD apps" are todo lists and planning apps. ADHD isn't a disorder of planning, it's a disorder of doing. I can make realistic, specific, achievable plans as well as anyone else, but when it comes to doing the work it often just doesn't happen. Literally yesterday I lost a freelance client purely due to my own procrastination. I had a sensible plan and didn't follow it.

I don't want to just slam this app or other existing apps, so in an effort to be constructive here are some spaces that I think could be explored further to help people with ADHD:

* Smart speakers. I use them heavily and they are a great distraction free computing device. "Fire and forget" reminders are great. I have a smart speaker in every room and can set a reminder to do something in 30 minutes time without having to move, find a pen, pick up a phone or distract myself in any way.

* Emotional regulation. ADHD means you are on a rollercoaster of emotions that you can't regulate well. There are techniques for controlling them but when you are blinded with rage or bursting into tears you don't remember. Perhaps a device could constantly asses your emotional state and remind you of regulation techniques right when you need them.

* Anything centered around positivity and forgiveness. An app that makes past successes visible without minimizing the impact of the disorder would be great.

I have a very similar story. Come from a stable loving family and initially did well. Only after leaving home did I come up against the wall of ADHD. On reflection, my parents and teachers were providing a huge amount of support. Outside of that supportive environment things fell apart: lost many jobs, couldn't keep up with basic life tasks. If I hadn't been so lucky I could've easily been homeless.

I finally got diagnosed at 30 and the doctor was similarly surprised.

Gabor Mate has got a lot of publicity recently but his ideas are (to put it charitably) on the fringe.

I recommend Russell Barkley's youtube videos and books on ADHD if you want to understand the condition and the current research.

Anything that deals with changing your emotions to improve your ability to get tasks done, rather than just organizational tools (calendars, planners, todo lists, apps).

This includes but isn't limited to, CBT, mantras, positive self-talk, body doubling, breathing techniques.

At the end of the day, no calendar, todo list or app can make you do a task. If you're getting the reminder, in the right place with the right tools and enough time to do the task but you still don't do it then the problem lies elsewhere. Maybe you feel too anxious or overwhelmed. You need tools to address those problems, not just remind you what you need to do.

Some actionable advice:

Write down what you are doing and put it somewhere within your field of view. I use notepad in the corner of my large monitor. When you forget what you are doing, look at this.

Set a timer for each task you do. Keep it short and make sure it has an audible alert when it's done. When you hear the alert, double check if you’ve gone off task. Look at your note to remind yourself of what you are doing and then get back on task.

If you know what the task is, hear the reminder to get back on task and still don't get back on task, you need emotional tools. This is beyond a single post, but look for a therapist who can help you with the emotional side of ADHD.

I thought I could, but now I realize I can't.

I quit my job twice to start companies. Neither made a cent. I read all the YC startup school articles, watched the talks, looked at successful bootstrapped founders and thought "Yeah, that's me! I'll do it!".

Now I am a little older and a little wiser. I realize that I don't have the skills to start a company. Not just tech skills but people skills, sales skills, organizational skills, emotional skills. I think most people, apart from the truly exceptional, shouldn't start a company until they have a great deal of experience. Maybe 40+ is the right time for the average person to start and be successful. Then you have experience, skills, insight, experience and you know yourself well enough.

An aside: I suffer from ADHD. I didn't know when I started my companies, but if anyone reading this has ADHD and is thinking about a startup I suggest be extremely cautious. There are a lot of articles out there that say something along the lines of "Entrepreneurship is great for ADHD! Be your own boss! Be flexible and creative!". It's a bit of a myth. If you don't have your executive function under control while working a job then it won't get any better when you start a company. And mistakes and issues while running a startup will get away from you a lot quicker and more spectacularly than when you are an employee.

70k USD. I am based in Japan and I'm looking for remote positions or Japan based ones.

Yes. I have had many weeks, and sometimes even months when I have done nothing.

The root cause for me is ADHD. I'm often distracted to an extreme level. I'll get into work, boot up my computer and then realise it's 5 in the afternoon and I've been reading datasheets for LEDs all day instead of writing code related to work.

Of course this then triggers the anxiety. How do you tell your boss that you haven't done anything? Especially when you have no good reason.

I advise you to nip this in the bud. Try to work out if there was anything internal or external holding you back but if not, don't sweat it. Get away from work, rest, relax and then try again tomorrow.

I use a calendar for appointments that are set in stone. You need to be in a place at a particular time and not doing so would let someone down or mess something up in a big way. Meetings, appointments etc.

I then have a todo list for each context or area. A home to do list, a work one, a study one. These are separate notion pages at the moment but the tool isn't important. It's important that you can't see todos from different contexts, only the one you're focusing on right now.

I have an automatic time tracking tool on my work computer so I can see what apps and files were open when. This is helpful for seeing what I actually did.

I am affected quite badly by ADHD and related anxiety/depression issues. Absolutely get out there and do some exercise. There are so many benefits it's untrue. I exercise every day and I think it's one of the most important things I do.

That said, don't expect magic. There are no silver bullets. I often see people asking about ADHD and related issues being told to go out an exercise. In my experience you'll be a slightly fitter, slightly healthier, slightly happier person with the same ADHD issues as before. Absolutely go do it, but keep your expectations realistic.

Very very hard going for me. I have nearly 10 years of experience but only got one interview, and when the topic of money came up 70k was deemed much too high. I got no further contact from that company.

A difference of degree can turn into a difference of kind.

Lose 5% of your leg strength? You might not even notice. Lose 95%? You can't walk.

This is what it's like for ADHD people. The impairment is enough to make it difficult to keep a job, difficult to maintain relationships and difficult to keep up with pretty much any complex aspect of adult life.

The executive function deficit that comes with ADHD means that you don't have as much control over those emotions. The discomfort of the task is overwhelming and so you avoid and procrastinate. The fact that avoiding the task is rooted in emotion isn't exacerbated by ADHD, it is ADHD.

I sincerely hope this works.

I am a full blown screen addict. Screens and devices have basically been my life since I was very young. It's too late for me but I hope interventions and support while people are young will give them the skills and abilities to manage computer and device usage effectively when they grow older.

Procrastination is an emotional problem not an organizational one. No amount of calendars, to do lists, apps or systems can fix an emotional problem.

When you come to a task such as studying a new difficult topic you feel discomfort. "Maybe I won't understand it", "maybe I want supposed to be a programmer at all" etc. So you replace the activity that causes discomfort with one that doesn't. Maybe that's flicking through videos on YouTube. Maybe that's tidying your room. Either one feels more comfortable than studying. Even though cleaning your room is 'work' you know you can do it and you get a feeling of accomplishment after you do it.

So, to address procrastination you need emotional tools, not organizational ones. CBT. Positive self talk. Reassurances that the discomfort of a task will pass. Breaking down a task into pieces that are small enough to not cause discomfort.

If you suspect you have ADHD I recommend talking to a professional. Medication is one of the most effective treatments around and you need a diagnosis to start down that path.

My experience in job hunting (my resume is swiss cheese, full of gaps, nothing particularly impressive) matches this. Give a good presentation at a conference, go to a language meetup, chat to some engineers directly and you can often skip technical screening. Most of the times I don't even need a resume, or the resume is a formality after the decision.

A lot of discussion in this thread is centered around whether ADHD is "real" or not.

When someone comes to me thinking that they might have ADHD I start by asking them how messed up their life is. How many jobs have you been through? How many colleges have you dropped out of? How many good relationships have you cycled through?

ADHD is a disorder and it can be debilitating. It's not about some 1% efficiency improvement at work. It's the difference between being able to function as an adult in society with a job or being homeless/in prison.

"ADHD is not a disorder" in a nutshell. This is not backed up by science, not by experts in the field and neither by millions of people who suffer from it.

Absolutely! For me, getting medication required multiple consultations with a doctor and a 3 hour IQ tests. Just scheduling all of those was difficult. And where I live you need a special registration card on top of your health insurance. On top of that, for other medication you can pay the full price and then reclaim the cost if you don't have your health insurance documentation with you but not ADHD meds. Multiple times I've been denied meds because my insurance card was being renewed. Not only that, but after missing meds for a month, getting them prescribed again the pharmacist nearly blocked me because they wanted to titrate up from a lower dose (this is a dose I'd been on for years).

All other things being equal, short stints with gaps is not helpful for job applications.

That said, it is possible to get a job. I struggle with ADHD and have had many short stints in my career (6 months to 1 year).

Your resume likely looks terrible (mine does). I drop the months of my resume to try to hide the short positions. I miss off really short jobs (2-3 months). Try to find ways to get work without needing a resume. Warm introductions from friends and former colleagues. Meeting other engineers at events. Giving talks at events and getting your name out there. Make a really impressive portfolio site (you can't change what you were doing 4 years ago on your resume, but you can add to your portfolio site today and give an appearance of longevity without lying).

Look into jobs where you can use your tech skills without them directly being "tech jobs". They might not have the same tech gatekeepers that are keeping you out at the moment.

Do you have someone you can trust to give you feedback on your work style and communication style? Getting fired again and again is obviously not ideal and you may have blind spots. If you can improve upon them you increase your chances of doing better in the next job.

What are you thoughts on people with ADHD using your app? Do you think they benefit from the same approach or something different? Do you plan to do anything to tackle the more emotional side of app/web addiction?

Between 0 and 4 hours. I dream of being able to do 8 hours of concentrated, focused work.

I work part time, around 20 hours a week more or less. I would like to work full time but I burn out very easily. I spend the spare time studying, looking for other work, exercising, making food etc. A lot of the time work is at the back of my mind, so I feel like I'm working a lot more than I actually am.