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Comment by shanusmagnus | Hacker News Reader

I wonder how it will affect things if she doesn't go? You get married with (presumably) the assumption that this person is the core of your life, but then this Mars stuff happens and it becomes apparent where the spouse falls in the pecking order of your value system. Does it cast a dark cloud on the relationship afterward? "I want to be with you forever unless this really cool opportunity comes up, then I'm leaving you and the kids and we'll never see each other again."

This isn't a criticism -- it's nothing to me how these people choose to live their lives, and I'm all about pursuing your dreams. But it seems like there would be consequences to being so formally (and publicly) ranked second, or lower, by your wife.

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On the level that you're describing, however, is this really all that different from being a military spouse? Perhaps joining the National Guard, knowing that there's a risk that you will have to leave your family and go join a war zone?

Yes, soldiers deploy with the hope of returning, whereas Mars One would be a certain one-way trip. However, unlike a military deployment, Mars One is so dubious (to be charitable about it)... it's questionable to say that anyone involved has REALLY committed to anything yet.

However, you're right. Regardless of how low the chances are that one will actually go to Mars, putting themselves forward like this creates a 100% chance of informing spouses that they WOULD be willing to abandon them. Still, there seem to be many earth-bound scenarios in which couples face this sort of thing anyway.

Well it just takes being a strong, independent person. Personally I don't really subscribe to the marriage-above-all-else philosophy. You have to accept that you are not the center of the universe, and even if someone truly loves you their agenda might not line up with yours. By the same token the husband should feel free to seek whatever he needs to make do in light of that. It may be cliche, but "if you love someone, set them free." It certainly does take courage and resolve to do that.

Well technically you are the center of the universe http://theastronomist.fieldofscience.com/2010/03/you-are-at-... . But since everybody is, nobody is special either

You forgot the kids.

To call it a cool opportunity that comes up is a bit of a stretch. If this happens, and it does get to mars, it will put her in the ranks of the most important figures in history. For the sake if humanity itself. This is not something you do to glorify yourself. It is the ultimate sacrifice. Your life in exchange for the advancement and future of mankind. Flying in a metal can to a place that has absolutely nothing to begin a generations long process.

I cannot fathom what that family is going through. I do wish them the best.

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