It's not a problem of asshole theme creators, it's a software quality problem, and everyone in the Gnome Project's bubble is dancing around it and pretending it's good for the users.
> - Doesn't break in the next release.
is something that can't be worked around simply by creating your own theme. That seems to be caused by poor compatibility checking (or reckless disregard, as others are claiming), which could bite you even if you create your own theme.
Obviously, you could extend your suggestion to "fork gtk3", but that's likely a significant undertaking and not reasonable for everyone. I think it is reasonable to expect developers to maintain compatibility between minor version releases, assuming they're using semantic versioning, otherwise it's poor communication on the part of the developers.
There are plenty of open source projects that don't have those problems, and it's not like the core team is interested in making theming anything else but a clunky hack so that everyone uses Adwaita...