I can't describe in words how much I felt like a total, utter failure. All the fears I had about how I was going to pay my bills that month, the pressure from family to pay them back for money borrowed, the pressure from roommates to come up with rent - all came bubbling up in those moments.
After all, I was the first kid in my family to go to college. I was the smart one who was supposed to have his shit together, but there I was - totally broke. It creates a fear that is not rational and hasn't gone away (at least for me).
About a year ago, I forgot my bank card at TJ's and only had $20 bucks on me. I was embarrassed in ways I can't describe. I was cold sweating to the point I was soaking my shirt. I had to leave everything except for some essentials I needed for that night. One of the cashiers lent me $5 to help me pay for my groceries (I paid him back). I feel weird that I accepted the $5, but I wasn't thinking rationally. I wanted to scream "no, really, I have my shit together now." I kept telling myself that this is not a big deal... chill out... But I just couldn't calm myself down. It was like poverty PTSD.
Even though I now have paid off all my debt, school loans and have a healthy nest egg, I still have these fears. Whenever my card won't go through on the first try or I type in the wrong pin number, my heart jumps.
It's entirely irrational.
I know plenty of friends who can't (for one reason or another) imagine what life would be like where their credit card is declined due to a "human error." Maybe they haven't had to live paycheck to paycheck or maybe their brains aren't wired that way. I'm inclined to lean to the former but I'm sure for some it is the latter.
(That said, it sounds like the person you're replying to is in the US.)
I actually create that feeling now by moving all but the bill paying funds to savings. Every 2 weeks it feels like I am broke. It gives me a sense of ownership and a feeling I am in control of the situation.
On the flip side, that retailer has just seen 100 people in a row use their plastic just fine, then you come along with your whiz-bang phone or Coin card or whatever, and start failing. The embarrassment comes from everyone else waiting behind you thinking to themselves, "Why not just use a card like everyone else instead of your complicated technology?" Or, "HEY EVERYBODY! LOOK AT THIS GUY WHO THINKS HE'S TOO GOOD FOR REGULAR CARDS!"
To be clear I don't pooh-pooh these things. I totally understand why people would like to ditch a stack of cards for a phone or Coin replacement. Just explaining why it might be embarrassing to rely on these replacements, and then have them fail.
[1] http://mentalfloss.com/article/50199/how-does-plastic-bag-fi...
[2] http://www.popsci.com/article/2007-11/cure-failed-credit-car...
Another common cause of credit-card-swipes not working is card declines. It's fairly obvious to the user and cashier, but potentially embarrassing if the people in line behind you assume you've maxed out your credit card/drained your debit card.
At least in the US, there's sort of a social phenomenon of de-emphasizing the payment process at restaurants. Checks are left on the table with a 'whenever you're ready' attitude, and often are not brought until requested. Cards are left on the check and taken away, often silently, to be processed. Checks are kept out-of-sight, for each payer to process individually without a lot of discussion, and tips are usually kept private. All of this amounts to awkwardness if something brings attention to the whole process.
Additionally, since cards are picked up and processed elsewhere, it's awkward for the payer if the waitstaff has to come back and explain that your card didn't work and wait for you to bring out another. Doubly so if they seem busy already, or if you already feel guilty for inconveniencing them by, say, splitting a check in a complex way - which is common for a large class of people, including me. Though I've noticed there's a different large class of people who find this guilt ridiculous.
On top of all this, there's a very real stigma around cards being declined for having insufficient funds. This doesn't really happen in the world of fairly well-off techies, but, running out of money (/ maxing out a credit card) is a very real problem for many people.
Not to mention the awkwardness of 'being the person using newfangled tech'.. and then having it not work on you.
Imagine you've asked someone out on a date and you offer to pick up or even split the check but your card gets declined. I think most people would find this at least moderately embarrassing especially if they don't have a backup payment ready.
I believe the "embarrassment" trope crops from the misunderstanding behind the motive.
Personally, I will often leave any alternatives to the one payment method I intend to use locked in my car.
Oh exactly. Who cares what someone else thinks? You are only causing a brief delay for the people behind you.