I know a few things that no one else does, as well as some that others are reluctant to discuss.

A few years ago I dropped a dime to the FBI to request they tap my phone. This led to my iPhone's return less than five minutes after it was stolen.

"Don't lose your iPhone," said the officer, "that's how we're keeping track of you."

I once threatened to murder a Vancouver PD officer when he refused to take my report when I wanted to report a drug informant hit. Hilarity ensued.

For unrelated reasons I am concerned that my days are numbered so tomorrow afternoon Im going to drop by the FBI field station here so I can sing like a bird.

I dont really know but speculate that my uncle died because he decided not to run for office rather than move legislation for Boswell Cotton Corporation. My father's older brother was VP of accounting.