Agreed. Unfortunately, I haven't heard anything that makes me think that would be worth the time. I could certainly be mistaken.
> The laws of the “real physical world” are absolutely not defined by T-squares or rulers.
They certainly aren't defined by them. Rather, rulers are how we make contact with the real world.
> The fundamental thing is the structural/spatial relationships between objects which are directly interacting in whatever system we care about
You are referring to the abstraction which humans have constructed, and which we believe approximately describes an external reality. (It's very possible, of course, that space is emergent, in which case neither coordinates or vectors are fundamental.) However, the way we make contact with the world, and the foundation from which we infer the abstraction, is based on coordinate systems.
To discuss this further would require us to dive into significant philosophy of science.
> The geometric picture of a vector is the vector, and insofar as it’s “an abstraction” it is because the concept of a vector is itself the abstraction in question. The geometrical properties and relations of vectors are the fundamental nature of vectors. If students “struggle to build the proper abstract machinery in their brains”, what that means is they haven’t actually learned or properly been taught what a vector is yet.
This is semantics, and I don't think we disagree here. There are multiple ways to build up a vector space from more basic mathematical objects. One is with coordinates, and another is with operators. They turn out to be equivalent, and a student certainly hasn't mastered the subject unless they feel confident with both.
Nonetheless -- and here is where we probably disagree -- the coordinate representation is more fundamental from a physical (through not mathematical) viewpoint, because of the direct connection it has to our empirical observations and tools.