If it all doesn't matter anymore anyway, then you got nothing to lose. Find (psychedelic) shrooms somewhere, eat a portion, and reconsider your choice after your trip.
It saved my life.
It saved my life.
Needless to say, this is bad advice.
Sometimes the _day_ that you feel most suicidal is perhaps not the time to engage with psychedelics, but if you can peel yourself up a little, it can offer great perspective.
Medical is scary to me honestly. Psychedelics shouldn't be so clinical, and fearing them is only fearing yourself.
That said, they're not for everyone.