Everyone is different. I personally don't consider talking about why a raise is important to you, in a human way, is a bad thing. I wouldn't want to work for someone who thinks that what is most important to me in life is irrelevant at work.

I had that bit as optional because some people want to keep stuff like that out of it, which is fine.

The overall gist is that when making your case, if you truly like your company and want to stay, you do not want to come off as an arrogant, greedy asshole who is up for grabs to the highest bidder. You should come across as a loyal, enthusiastic, high performer who simply wants the salary (or possibly promotion) they deserve.

Sometimes getting you a raise will require your boss having to fight a battle for budget, and to do that, it helps if they actually like and respect you as a person as well as value you as an employee.

I have gotten many raises over my career, so this approach has worked for me. However, every situation and person is unique.