What a bitter, twisted thing to write about a dead person.
It seems her husbands problems have become a large part of her identity, and what greater way to feel better than write an opinion piece about how shitty he was in the NYT?
It seems her husbands problems have become a large part of her identity, and what greater way to feel better than write an opinion piece about how shitty he was in the NYT?
The more air, the better.
Sorry you have/had to go through it too.
Nonsense, what plant does this happen?
There are heaps of movies on the issues of alcoholism. There are many many support groups.
Who on earth would shaming or guilt anyone who talks? Do you hang with monsters? Or is this in your head?
Go to one, and they will tell you how they employed the strategy I'm talking about when drinking.
I would agree if he had a lot of family it would be hurtful to them and as such should be not have been written as it is.
You could defiantly see a human, mixed up, spitefulness in it. But I think as an article it had a lot of value and this was part of it, she's still not over it.
If you look carefully, you'll see that it's a post on a blog that deals with end of life issues, so rest assured that it's not a newspaper and every entry probably deals with dirty laundry about dead people in some way.
The article is also not the hatchet-job you're painting it as. She's not abusive towards her late husband, but talking about how the alcoholism screwed them both over. By shaming people into not talking about this, you're also preventing people from finding parallels in their own life, or finding out about support groups.
Then proceeds to describe on a hugely trafficked website how he urinated in a basement sink every night and left her with $64,000 of credit card debt.
I have no desire to shame anyone, it's written now - again I simply stated that it felt bitter to me. Having spent 15 minutes reading her blog, it seems that is a reasonable description of her current mental state.
It's very clear that you were trying to shame writing about this taboo, at least in your initial comment. You weren't 'simply stating', but were making value judgements - the writing was 'twisted', and she was trying to make herself feel better by shitting on her husband. She may well be in a poor mental state, but it's been six years since the guy died. How long do you want to keep up "don't speak ill of the dead"? By maintaining that taboo in an ongoing manner, you're preventing people from getting better by talking about the bad things they encountered with the deceased person.
Alcoholism and the destruction of lives is a depressingly normal story. It's hardly 'dirty laundry' (another term of shaming) in the context provided - the author wasn't point-scoring off her dead husband, and you weren't forced to read the article. Relationships have ugly sides, and by exposing that, we help people better understand their own.
Also, it's an opinion piece, in a section called The Opinion Pages with the section title Opinionator, and even the domain has 'opinion' in it. An opinion journal would be pretty dull if it steered away from social taboos. People read opinion pieces to get different views on things (sometimes heatedly emotional), outside of the supposedly dispassionate journalistic norm.
Her story also might help other people watching loved ones deteriorate take action before it's too late, or may help people grieve following the death of a loved one under similar circumstances. This alone may be sufficient justification for her actions.
Growing up and through my adulthood, there was one thought he shared with me in so many conversations. It was this, "I really think I would like the feeling of opium?" As a child, I didn't really know what he meant? I knew he was talking about drugs--and I found it weird because my father didn't break the law. As a child, I wished my father could relax. He was always so tense. I remember praying for him. At that point in his life he was a light drinker.
As I got older, I realized what he was getting at with all those Opium comments. I realized I couldn't relax either. I tried to fight the urge to settle my nerves with alcohol, but I eventually had a nervous breakdown(life, 20's, genes, not alcohol related), and the only thing that slightly settled symptomology was alcohol. I finally found the right psychiatrist, and he gave me some relief with medication, but it wasn't enough. For years alcohol is the only thing that helped me get through the day. Fifteen years go by and I'm finally prescribed a drug that settled my nerves, but I don't know what damage I did to my body?
When I read her post, I remember how my mom blamed All my father's problems on alcohol. She would yell, scream and through objects at him. It got so bad, I think he was drinking more because she was so angry?
My mother didn't drink. My mother was just an angry person. She had a good heart, but the anger always got the best of her. She was basically angry with herself, angry over her childhood, and looking for a scapegoat. My mother lightened up as she aged, but used my father's alcoholism as an excuse to vent her emotions.
When I read this article, I felt bad for the wife, but I remember how my mother blamed everything on the drinking. I'm not saying his wife is like my mother. I don't know why this professor drank himself to death. I'm just slightly taken back when I read stories like this. I wonder if a story like this would be published if the genders were reversed?
I am in no way questioning this lady in any way. I do have extreme empathy for most alcoholics though, especially the one's that are self-medicating. There are some drugs that alleviate the need to drink, but they are only prescribed by a small percentage of Doctors. In the U.S. these drugs are currently under fire by politicians. Doctors are becoming reluctant to prescribe like they used to. I'm not going to name the drugs because I don't want to expose my identity, but one of the drugs is Klonopin(A benzo with a long half life). My wish is politicians would leave medical doctors alone. Again, I'm not questioning this lady. I know she suffered. I am guilty of spilling out my own problems?
What was it?
I'm not sure how this actually helps keep your anonymity. I would suggest setting up a temporary email address (there are many services for this purpose - https://duckduckgo.com/?q=temporary+email)