I grew in Silicon Valley and work here now as a dev at one of the major tech companies and have no idea what you're talking about. The people I work with seem totally normal.
Well I mean, they're all relatively enthusiastic about technology, and generally affluent, but aside from that I don't see anything particularly unusual.
I worked as a dev at one of the major tech companies here for 5 years and basically found that all my coworkers were nice, normal, fairly geeky engineers who really loved technology. My fiancee grew up in the area, doesn't work at tech, and most of her friends are locals. They're all very normal and friendly too. (Probably moreso than I'm used to - I grew up in New England, where everybody's reserved until you get to know them.)
The problem is that the folks who are grandiose self-promoters seem to spend all their time self-promoting, which makes you disproportionately likely to run into them, particularly if you go to startup events. Stay away from that corner and Silicon Valley is basically just a bunch of highly-educated nerds who work very hard.
I spent a few years living in SF. I think the geek monoculture kind of drove me away. I accidentally fell into tech via math and felt like there was this pressure to conform to this image of a "nerdy engineer". No, I don't obsess about board games or comic books or the latest Japanese cartoons. I kind of get why someone likes them but it gets overwhelming.
Another thing that got annoying was how everyone kept going on and on about tech everywhere. Again, maybe things are different in the South Bay, but SF felt like a flurry of Coffee shops filled with folks talking about Ruby, Haskell and Data Science.
I still remember sitting in a Coffee Shop after I interviewed at my current company in NYC. I overheard a brief conversation between two girls about Python. The fact that they meant the reptile and not the language kind of sealed the deal for me.
The culture of the bay area in general can be very toxic for a particular type of individual. If you're religious or lean to the right in any way, you'll be met with open hostility. The culture of the bay area is also passive aggressive. Nobody wants to offend or confront, so if your manager doesn't like you, you probably won't know it. You'll just get the shittiest tasks and won't be sure why. It's a particular kind of hell for someone who values honestly and blunt talk, like a new yorker, for example.
That's a pretty common practice in a lot of companies everywhere - it's called "managing someone out" (as in "out the door"). Companies do it because if an employee can be convinced to leave voluntarily, the company saves money and avoids the potential lawsuit that might ensue from a termination.
It could be that it's just what your used to. People that grew up outside of the area may see things a little differently based on their life experiences in other places.
Now, if you're a founder, you'll see many other founders and VCs whose actions align with those characteristics.
Several months ago I went to the south bay for a job interview. The people who interviewed me seemed nice, if not cut throat. However, I was rather shocked by some of the people I met at the hotel. They were very smug and had extremely entitled attitudes. A few of them were very happy to share with me the fact that they own multiple homes, although I didn't ask them. One guy straight up told me he doesn't like blacks and hispanics. This comment was made at the hotel rooftop pool. It was not a private conversation and the man didn't seem to even fathom that I might have found that offensive.
Then again, it was a ritzy hotel in the most expensive part of that town. I might meet similar people if I stayed at the St. Regis in NYC for a few days.
So IDK, are Silicon Valley types ass trumpets?
I work in NYC too, after spending quite a few years in the bay area. Tech has a diversity problem in general. It is not like things are magically all sunshine and rainbows in NY.
The only distinction is that the Bay has so many many of these small companies that are filled with white men in their twenties who all went to school together and think alike.
Yeah, a lot of them can be as bro-like as your typical finance bro.
There is a big difference between "east side san jose" or sunnyvale or something.
And yeah I agree, San Jose is a lot more chill... but IMO that's because there's less of the Silicon Valley there, if that makes sense.
Oh... and for the record, I just agree with the narcissistic part... I have no idea what OP is talking about with regards to being obnoxious, pathological liars, self-promoters, etc.
>The people I work with seem totally normal.
These two statements don't seem related to you?
I grew up in Orlando, Florida and for the first 25 years of my life, I thought people just went to Disney World when they felt like it. I thought everyone was tan and wore sunglasses and shorts all the time. I thought everyone knew how to surf, or had been to the ocean recently. I thought most people just had guns and didn't worry about them.
All of these things were normal to me, because I hadn't experienced other people's normal. So when you say "I grew up here, all of the people I know are normal," you're basically saying "I live in a filter bubble and might be accidentally proving your point."