Having Asperger myself and having watched alot of parents I'd like to share a thought.

To me the biggest problem seems to be connecting to the outside world. I've also observed children having trouble with this, as it seems they weren't able to filter relevant stimuli to react on: "Do they speak to me? I don't know.. So I'll continue to wait."

This is a pattern I'm using as well.

However, things I do understand are people reaching out to me very directly with very clear emotions.

Difficult and wrong as it may be, I'd suggest including your daughter directly in conversation as often as possible. She may not understand words, but quite possibly she does understand emotion.

This may at least ease the disconnection she's already observing.