Having a rather severe non-verbal (some single words or rote phrase) 11 year old with autism, our biggest mystery is how much she does or doesn't understand about us or about her own condition. Articles like this (again, hopefully written by the subject) help give some potential insight.

Because she essentially has no voice, it's almost natural to talk about her as if she isn't there. As she's grown we've been better about it, but because she doesn't express emotion it's near impossible to imagine what she might be thinking or feeling.

I have several dreams a year where she speaks. I'd expect other parents do as well.

The strangest thing for me is to have a child that has never asked us a single question. We see other families with 3 year olds that continuously ask "Why?" to everything you say. When you hear other parents complaining that their kids won't stop asking questions, I try not to remind them of the alternative.