Comment by gr8b8m8-88 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by gr8b8m8-88 | Hacker News Reader

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Not to condone or defend rape, but can someone explain to me why rape is so much more traumatic than vanilla assault or battery? I've obviously never been raped (which is why I ask), but I have been beaten up a good number of times in high school (to the point I once actually coughed blood), and yes, it did make me loathe my tormentors, but I don't wake up with PTSD nightmares about it or have it radically change my academic life (though it did push me into learning a martial art). And when asked about it, the guys who kicked my ass still justify it with "yeah, he was such a little faggot", and the other folks listening just sort of nod "yeah". I'm sure if some teacher had walked in on them stomping on me, they probably would've gotten expelled or something, but certainly, the cops would never have been called in and nothing criminal would've been pressed. Essentially, when a guy gets beaten up, we're treated with the "tough it out, you pussy" attitude, but when a girl gets raped, it causes outrage even 24 years later. So just what makes rape so much worse than regular assault?

It should be pretty obvious: rape is like any violence, but it also involves the victim's sexuality. Now imagine fucking someone and getting flashbacks about being raped... Yeah, not so funny anymore. "PTSD" from regular beating is pretty easy to overcome compared to that and in any case does not taint lovemaking, which is a very important feature in most of our lives.

because it's not just assault on your body, it's assault _in_ your body. Imagine your reactions to being beaten vs having something inserted in to you, which is going to give you more nightmares? Which one is going to have a more lasting effect?

For some people, this is it.

For most people I know, it's a different thing: being assaulted in the sex drive makes it difficult, subsequently, to be trusting and let your sexual guard down again. It negatively impacts the very abilities required for successful and enjoyable sex.

Survivors of sexual assault often also come to realize - if they didn't already - that sexual openness and bodily confidence are important not only for the acts of love, but for many activities in life, both personal and professional.

So it's a pretty difficult recovery for some people.

Yes, agreed. Reactions to rape are as varied as the methods used to commit it. It can be vastly more invasive and trust-breaking than a punch to the face - at least you usually know that's coming.

At the very least this explanation is extremely complete, as female-on-male rape victims suffer significant trauma as well (despite not having anything inside them).

Ugh that should say incomplete.

Deleted comment

Yes, I simplified something for the sake of a simple response.

No, that doesn't mean you can extrapolate ridiculous conclusions from the statement where the definition is well known.

Fair enough, deleted my question since you seem to consider it too frivolous. Feel free to do the same with your reply.

i would flag this comment as egregious, but i don't have enough karma.

in the meantime, if you are really interested in an answer, you should search for one. here's a start: https://www.reddit.com/r/RapeCounseling

>i would flag this comment as egregious, but i don't have enough karma.

For censorship? Because as we all know society gets better when questions are stomped.

The parent is making a legitimate question -- and does not seem to be "trolling".

Aren't hackers supposed to be open minded people that believe that nothing should be taboo and everything should be open to rational examination?

That doesn't mean that everything should be advocated etc -- but this is an open discussion.

A similar attitude (flagging a comment as "eggregious") is not that far from the spanish inquisition.

>>i would flag this comment as egregious, but i don't have enough karma.

>For censorship? Because as we all know society gets better when questions are stomped.

the comment in question (asking for the difference between "vanilla assault" and rape) was in shockingly bad taste.

more than a few people i know and care about have been raped, and since i don't have enough karma to flag submissions i took the bait and complained in a comment.

i know the rules and accept the downvotes, but a logical fallacy wrapped in thinly veiled sarcasm hardly seems an appropriate response.

i would expect better from someone with 14500+ karma.

>the comment in question (asking for the difference between "vanilla assault" and rape) was in shockingly bad taste.

Why? While we are discussing why asking the question is in bad taste, can we also address the question: what makes sexual assault substantially different from regular assualt.

>>the comment in question (asking for the difference between "vanilla assault" and rape) was in shockingly bad taste.

> Why? While we are discussing why asking the question is in bad taste, can we also address the question: what makes sexual assault substantially different from regular assualt.

if you don't understand why it's bad taste to tacitly equate sexual assault and vanilla assault in the context of an article about a 14-year-old rape victim, perhaps you simply haven't given it enough thought.

and if you truly don't understand what makes sexual assault substantially different from regular assault, but want to find out, there are much better sources of information than hn.

you could always ask a close personal friend, or if you don't have one of those, just use a search engine.

>if you don't understand why it's bad taste to tacitly equate sexual assault and vanilla assault in the context of an article about a 14-year-old rape victim, perhaps you simply haven't given it enough thought.

Notice how this is not an argument, but "if you have to ask, you would never know" response that closes the door on objective discussion.

There's also an appeal to sentimentality "if you don't understand why it's bad taste to tacitly equate sexual assault and vanilla assault in the context of an article about a 14-year-old rape victim".

He doesn't ask you to compare it to something trivial, like stepping on a lego or having a flu. The real comparison from what he wrote, would be to compare it to a "14-year-old assault victim" -- which is also troubling and problematic.

>the comment in question (asking for the difference between "vanilla assault" and rape) was in shockingly bad taste.

Citation needed. Is rape to be singled out and put to some mythical taboo status and not questioned or compared to other forms of assault?

No, "hackers" are people which means they're no better, or worse, than others.

Why are you trying to make the subculture out to be something it isn't?

>No, "hackers" are people which means they're no better, or worse, than others.

Obviously everyone is people (fallible, etc). That doesn't mean each subculture doesn't have standards and ideology that its members ascribe too (even when those are not 100% explicit in the "10 commandments" sense).

>Why are you trying to make the subculture out to be something it isn't?

Because the very notion of a "subculture" means members share some specific attributes.

If they didn't, then a site like "Hacker News" wouldn't even make sense to follow, in the sense that it would be exactly the same as any other mass culture social voting site, e.g. Digg, Reddit's front page, etc. You might argue that the only shared attributes are an interest in hacking and computers (and startups). Then again, others would argue.

well today you learned that isn't an attribute of the hacker culture.

editing/updating your comment without noting the changes can make it difficult to follow the conversation.

What if your tormentors in high school had raped you?

Then it would be mostly the sexual taboo (shame etc) having an effect, than some actual tangible difference in the attack.

There's also the fact that not many men would consider a sexual attack from a beautiful woman particularly traumatic (if at all) -- whereas they would very much consider a male raping them.

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